It’s Saturday night and your squad is buzzed leaving the bar after a long week. You walk past Taco Bell and want it for the thirtieth time, but you realize you have $5 to your name and still want food. Lucky for you, it’s easy to satisfy your hunger by making these gourmet drunchies.
Yes, I am suggesting you try this at home. Rule #1: go out and have a few DRANKS because these foods might be questionable sober (lol jk). Rule #2: follow the 1-10 rank — 10 being the hardest and probably a no go if you’ve had one too many.
1. Homemade Cheese Fries
These drunchies are 9/10 if you’re trashed, because you’ll need a knife and oven, so set an oven timer just in case you pass out on the couch. Drizzle olive oil on the potato wedges, bake until golden brown, dump a whole bag of cheese on top (not kidding), and let it melt. If you’re feeling extra adventurous, load it up with bacon bits and sour cream. One time, I cooked cheese sauce on the wrong burner for five minutes and I was sober. Don’t be me.
2. Grilled Cheese
Grilled cheese with a kick is the way to do it and a solid 6/10. All you need is bread, butter, turkey or ham, and hella cheese to grill in a pan. I hope you have BBQ chips on the side, and a pickle if you’re cool, because cool people like pickles; not an alternative fact. And if you need a tutorial you can always try Kylie Jenner’s grilled cheese recipe.
3. Mac & Cheese
This is 5/10 difficulty on the drunchie food scale. If you’re noticing the pattern it’s all about the cheese, so stock up. If there was a hierarchy for food, mac n’ cheese would be the queen. Ball it out with pepper, garlic salt, paprika, cheddar, milk and butter. You should also 100% add bacon bits, because why wouldn’t you?
4. Nachos
Microwaves are pretty safe so these drunchies are 4/10 easy. Throw a bunch of tortilla chips, cheese and refried beans on a plate and cook until the cheese is melted and the beans are semi-warm (you’re not gonna care). Then add sour cream, salsa, pre-made guacamole (because ain’t nobody got time to challenge Chipotle’s guac game), black olives, and green chilies. After, you’ll wonder why you don’t eat nachos for every meal.
5. Chocolate Milkshake
You’ll need a blender so this is a 3/10 and hopefully, your roommates aren’t sleeping; but if they aren’t the best roomies, do it anyway. Blend milk, chocolate ice-cream and syrup and top it off with whip cream and fruit. Steak ‘n Shake would’ve been great, but you’ll be close enough by pairing this bad boy with the cheese fries.
6. Chocolate and Peanut Butter Popcorn
This is the easiest one ranked 1/10. If you have a sweet tooth and aren’t feeling the cheese, microwave a bag of popcorn (or five) and drown it with chocolate sauce and peanut butter. Who says you can’t make good decisions while drunk?
Don’t get me wrong, nights at Taco Bell and McDonald’s are always an experience, but now you have a few ways to stuff your face at home and not spend extra money. Just don’t use a knife or oven totally sh*t-faced, and you’ll be good to go. Your Snapchat friends might be jealous, but they’ll love you once they start making nachos instead of instant ramen and bagel bites.