I know you, Carleton student. You want to live your best life, have a balanced diet, and avoid the freshman (or senior) fifteen. Let’s be real. In university, that’s kinda impossible. We both know that you regularly get poutine at 2am, have been living exclusively in sweatpants, and the last time you worked out was when you took the stairs that one time. Being your best self and having your life together is hard.
So if you’re not quite there yet, I recommend faking it until you make it. If you incorporate veggies, exercise, and going outside into your life in subtle ways —possibly through some strategic Instagram posts— you can convince your friends, and yourself, that you have your sh*t together and are mentally and physically sound. Who knows, if you continue the pattern long enough, you might actually get healthy along the way.
Poke Bowls
Calling all future yoga moms on the go, or at least anyone who thinks that image is the epitome of healthy living and wants to emulate it, Poke Bowls are now available in Carleton’s UC food court at Bento Sushi. This meal will definitely impress your friends because it’s boujie and you’re getting a full serving of veggies – this one has seaweed, avocados, cucumbers and carrots. Plus, Poke Bowls are a huge step up in life-togetherness from ramen.
Booster Juice
The fact that Booster Juice is now available on the Carleton campus is blessed. Anyone with a smoothie in their hand, even if it’s just in an Insta pic, comes across as a healthy active person with important places to be. Also, Booster Juice cups are opaque so people will think you ordered something with spinach when you really ordered some tropical fruit smoothie that tastes like a virgin cocktail.
The swing in the quad
I respect anyone who spends some time on that swing. Pictures of the experience are documented proof that you went outside today and engaged in minor physical activity in nature, however briefly.
The Greens
I was unaware until recently that this new addition to the UC food court does not solely sell salads but also sells wraps, which I will claim are some of the best food vessels. After visiting this place for lunch, I went about my day telling people that I went a salad place and got something with spinach, beans, and tomatoes and it was no word of a lie.
Bakers
Bakers is probably my favourite hidden gem on campus. So few people know about it. It’s tucked away on the fourth floor of the UC and is only open on weekdays. When I show people photos they look at me in amazement and say “Whoa, you had brunch, on a Wednesday?” as if I somehow am rolling in brunch money and spare time. Starving students just stare in awe over the fact that I ate breakfast. This place makes breakfast accessible to students because everything on the breakfast menu is only six dollars. It’s the perfect place to fake it if you want people to think you go to fancy brunch places all the time.
The gym
You don’t even have to sign up for a fitness class or even work out. Seriously just hang out there and people will think you are so much of a better person than you actually are.
The Market
When I picked up my lunch from The Market in the UC food court, people looked at me like I had just grabbed food at a high-quality hipster vegetarian food truck that I had to wait hours in line for. They couldn’t believe that this was something that was made in a school that I bought while running late to class. Looking at the apple beet salad and basil tomato sandwich with rosemary bread that was baked in house, I couldn’t believe it either. Word of caution: If you’re going to get this salad/sandwich combo, get lots of napkins, the dressing is drippy.
If you visit and Instagram these locations/foods strategically, people will begin to think that your mental and physical health is so much more in check than it actually is. Also they won’t think you look like this all the time.
