Living in 2017 is stressful. Especially when it comes to deciding how to stay hydrated. So long are the days of drinking bland tap or bottled water. Today, with the help of hipsters and their new innovative ways of staying hydrated, you can quench your thirst in a variety of trendy ways.
Here’s the ultimate list of waters that will keep you hydrated, and have you looking hip and boosting your Instagram following along the way.
1. blk. water
You’ve seen black ice cream, black doughnuts, even black bread, but did you know about black water? Yes, black water.
According to the blk website, their water is enhanced with humic and fulvic acid, which is essentially the biodegration of dead organic matter, electrolytes, antioxidants and so on.
Personally, I prefer my water to not look like a science experiment gone wrong. But, if Kendall Jenner drinks it, then it must be awesome, right?
2. Boxed Water
You’ve seen this on Instagram. You’ve wondered why exactly it’s better. You’ve maybe even thought, what the hell is boxed water? Well, that’s a great question, because I’m not quite sure either. It seems that boxed water is just, well, water in a box.
According to the now Insta-famous company, Boxed Water is more eco-friendly than plastic bottles and are more efficient to produce and ship. Each box is made of paper, fully recyclable, and free of BPAs and phthalates.
But let’s be real for a second. It’s almost 2018—who doesn’t have a reusable water bottle, anyways? A 12-pack of these guys will run you at about the same price.
3. Maple Water
I had so many questions for this water. Does it taste like maple syrup? Can I channel my inner Buddy the Elf without actually putting a straw in a carton of Mrs. Butterworth? Or am I just being punked, like Boxed Water?
Well, it doesn’t taste like syrup. But Maple Water is collected from the sap of Vermont maple trees (no trees are harmed in the process). It contains 46 natural nutrients, has half the sugar of coconut water, and contains more manganese than a cup of kale. The beverage is also low calorie, gluten-free, dairy-free and non-GMO.
You know what else is low calorie, gluten-free, dairy-free, and non-GMO? Air! Just kidding. Water.
4. Artichoke Water
You really can’t make this stuff up. The folks over at Arty Water found a way to infuse all of the antioxidants found in California artichokes into a drinkable form.
According to the company, artichokes are known to boost heart health and cholesterol levels, detox the liver, and promote healthy skin.
I would be willing to try this stuff (purely out of curiosity) if it wasn’t for the disturbing color. It looks like the juice that’s left over from a can of artichoke hearts. Maybe that’s exactly what it is? We’ll never know, because Amazon pulled this item from their site. Sorry, Arty.
5. Aloe Vera Water
You know the stuff you rub all over your body after a bad sunburn? You can drink it too! After a surfing accident left a California native with a large gash in his head, his doctor advised him to not only apply aloe vera to the would, but also to try drinking it. Not being able to find an adequate way to drink it, he created Aloe Gloe.
Aloe Vera contains more than 200 biologically active amino acids, vitamins, antioxidants, enzymes and minerals that have been clinically proven to improve skin and cardiovascular health.
Overall, this stuff probably tastes like how forgetting to put on sunscreen feels.
6. Cactus Water
I know, I know, another trendy plant-turned-water. But think again, this is more than just a succulent.
Cactus water contains a very potent and dense antioxidant called taurine that is known to reduce inflammation and detoxify the skin. It contains vitamins B and C, calcium, potassium, magnesium and iron that all help to boost your immune system.
Also, it’s lower in sugar and contains a higher amount of antioxidants than most coconut waters (the trendiest of all waters).
7. Dirty Lemon Water
Activated charcoal has been having a moment this year, and it’s striking again in a big way. And by big I mean expensive. And by expensive I mean this stuff is going to cost you $65 per six bottles. Let me say that again for emphasis—$65 for six water bottles.
The Dirty Lemon line comes in six different flavors: charcoal, collagen, ginseng, sleep, matcha, and rose. All aimed to promote your inner Gwyneth Paltrow, I assume.
This is the kind of water I expect the one percent to drink. Not even the one percent. The one percent of the one percent. Maybe Beyonce drinks this water. Or bathes in it. Either way, this water is ridiculous.
Now, this is a judgement-free zone. However you choose to drink your water is up to you. Whether its color is questionable or its derived from an off-putting plant, if it’s keeping you hydrated, then by all means, bottoms up!