Water is known for all kinds of good things. It replenishes us as a drink, clears up our skin, and allows us to bathe. All kinds of good things. 

So if someone could enlighten me as to why UConn seems patently anti-water, I would really appreciate it. 

Recently, the drink dispensers at several dining halls have taken out fountain spouts specifically for water and instead combined them with other drinks, such as Hi-C and Vitamin Water. If you don't quite understand what I'm saying here, check out THIS monstrosity.

pizza, beans, beer, coffee
Dana Kringel

There's something wholly unsatisfying about having to drink water that is vaguely flavored like something else. I'm looking for a zero-calorie, delicious, ice-cold glass of water. What I'm not looking for is slightly pink garbage liquid. 

While the rage may seem slightly unreasonable, let it be known that I'm a passionate hater of all things only slightly flavored. If I wanted a flavor, I'd ask for a flavor.

pizza, beer, coffee
Dana Kringel

The other issue with this change is that it makes it harder to hold a plate and get a drink at the same time. Holding a plate and holding a cup leaves little room to push down the water button, and you have to tip your glass so the water basically spills half out

I know what you're thinking. Just make two trips. Put down your plate and go back for your drink with two hands. Let me tell you something:

So, final answer: I'm upset. Many students were already annoyed at this inconvenience being a permanence at South Dining Hall, but now it has spread to Putnam and McMahon. 

The only explanation I can serve as to why UConn does not want to just reserve spouts for water is that the school makes more money somehow by endorsing more drinks. I'm not sure what their motivation is, and I'm not sure what made them hate water so much. 

All I know is that I will not longer stand for vaguely flavored water.