When I was younger, my aunt once told me about a restaurant she went to the night before—specifically, she mentioned the dishes of various nuts they had on each table, kinda the way most places serve you bread. The thing is, she phrased it by saying "yeah, and they have these really salty nuts..."

I then laughed like a sixth-grade boy for about five minutes.

Though not any more mature than I was during my prime sex-pun days, I became curious about how this nickname for man's jewels came about. I searched the internet, mentally steeling myself against the weird that would surely come through the search engine.

Mom, if you look through my browser history, I just want to say one thing: it was in the name of research. 

A Not-So-Tough Nut

Photo by Mira Bozhko | Unsplash

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As it turns out, the answer is kinda what you would expect: should you, for whatever reason, set aside some time in your busy schedule and look at some male testicles, you'd come to the conclusion that they look like, well, nuts.

In side, shape, and general wrinkly-texture, they resemble something of a walnut. However, there's a slew of reasons as to why "nut" should be number one on the testicle alias list—and trust me, a little stroll through the internet will tell you that there is a list.

nut, cereal
Hannah Cather

Testicles hold sperm, or "seeds," that metaphorically grow monsters—I mean, children—and nuts are seeds. In Spanish, they're referred to as "huevos" or eggs, for similar reasons. Some nuts come in pairs, such as peanuts, and there're two testies per sac. 

Never thought I'd have such a serious conversation about this...

So in a Nutshell

Testicles are often called other things because the image of a hairy ballsack is, well, not exactly appealing—like the Nutscaping twitter I stumbled across. Aesthetic? Not exactly. Hilarious? Definitely. So remember to handle all nuts with care, as their contents are precious and nutritious.