Why Food Beatitudes?
Undeniably, food appears everywhere - it is not just limited to its formal residence in the human gut. From instagram feeds displaying food porn to daily talk shows on the latest nutrition diets, we cannot escape the recent “foodie” fad. And so, wouldn’t you think it deserves a little gratitude, too?
In Christianity, Jesus (aka the “Bread of Life”) gave us the 9 Beatitudes as blessings on the Sermon on The Mount. However, I propose to you the “9 Food Beatitudes” - brought to you by a true Spoon Foodie. By no means do I claim to possess any divine right, nor do I go by a title so prodigious as the “Bread of Life." Nonetheless, in my own words, I act in the name of "all- things-food" to give it the proper justice it so righteously deserves.
Carbohydrates
"Blessed are the breads, pastas, and grains, for they provide us with the energy of life."
Fruits
"Blessed are the bountiful fruits of the gardens, bushes, and trees, for they are the natural candy given to us from the heavenly land."
Vegetables
"Blessed are the consumers of plants and greens, for they are the peacemakers of the land. They shall be called the vegetarians and vegans of the earth."
Protein
"Blessed are the meats, fish, and eggs, for the diet of a carnivore will strengthen and replenish the muscles."
Dairy
"Blessed are the milks, cheeses, and creams, for their digestion yields ultimate comfort (so long as you take a lactaid pill!)."
Oils & Fats
"Blessed is the nourishment brought by the fats and oils, for flavor would be absolutely lost without them. They complete the palate. "
Dessert
"Blessed are those persecuted for the sake of their caloric and sugar intake, for their hearts will be satisfied with sweetness."
Water
"Blessed are those who thirst for sustenance from coursing rivers or the depths of lakes, for they will never be dehydrated."
Alcohol
"Blessed are the rich in "spirits," for theirs is the kingdom of intoxication."
And thus, ...
I give you, my fellow foodies, the 9 Food Beatitudes from yours truly. There is no doubt that food is essential, and that its consumption gives us innumerable blessings (#blessed). While informal commandments may govern appropriate food behavior, this profession of "food-faith" endeavors to remind us of its place in our lives. There are various groups and pyramids that place it on a scale, but we should not be so transparent to discriminate between any food form. All are necessary for the harmonic balance of life. That brings me to my last point, dear young ones: One cannot live on bread alone.