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Lifestyle

What It’s Like Having Food Poisoning, as Told by New Girl

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at UCLA chapter.

We’ve all contemplated eating something that was left out for a little longer than it should have been, deciding our body would be able to handle it. A few hours later, we find ourselves in the bathroom, excreting out every last crumb and liquid from both ends of our body, wishing we had made better decisions.

If that sounds familiar, it’s because one out of two Americans will have food poisoning at one point in their lives. If you’ve had food poisoning before, you know how miserable, horrible and outright brutal it is. For those who have never had food poisoning or those who want to be reminded of how much it sucks, here is what it’s like, according to New Girl.

You start the day with hope

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

The sun is out, your luck is through the roof, you can tell you’re going to have a good night. Let your indulgences begin.

You are sizing up your leftovers

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

It’s lunchtime, and you can’t wait to finally eat that seafood fried rice that’s been sitting on your kitchen counter all night. Even though your friends tell you not to touch it, you can’t let it go to waste.

You realize something’s not right

GIF disgust disgusted gag hurl new girl puke Schmidt throw up vomit GIF

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

A few hours later, you start feeling a little off. You go to the bathroom and it begins – the seemingly incessant vomiting.

You begin entering panic mode

giphy

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

You don’t immediately put two and two together, so you start thinking about the million diseases that could be affecting you. You even contemplate going to the hospital.

You think you’re starting to feel better

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Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Three hours later, sweat dripping down your face, pieces of rice falling from your hair, you finally feel a little better and decide to have a glass of water. You’re confident this one’s going to stay down.

You were wrong

NickHelpMe

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

10 minutes later, you’re back at square one. Nothing is staying down.

You swear you’re never eating again

schmidt icecream

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

You start associating food with nausea. The thought of eating anything else ever again repulses you.

You’re ready to fight back

giphy

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Finally, you’ve had enough. You order your body to put an end to whatever it’s doing to you. You have nothing left inside of you that could possibly be spewed out.

You conquer your illness

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

A few days later, you’re back to normal and food makes you happier than anything else in the whole wide world.