Costco and Parks and Rec, my two favorite things. All Costco groupies know there is no happier place than the halls of a bulk warehouse. In true Ron Swanson fashion, you can get all your food and stuff in one place (and lots of it). At Costco, you can buy everything from your own DJ Roomba, waffle mix, and cans upon cans of whipped cream. If you're a true Costco member, you know these thoughts and feelings all too well.
1. Walking in and flashing your membership card like you own the world
When you walk into Costco, the first thing you do is show your shiny membership card. Flashing that small piece of plastic gives you entry to the most magical and exciting warehouse on earth.
2. Looking at all the stuff you need
Once you're in, you immediately become overcome with shock. How could one store have this much stuff? Blender and beach towels to your right, flat screen TVs and Nutella to your left. This ain't gonna be easy.
3. Thinking "I really need all of this now"
There's no doubt that at several points in your Costco shop, a random item you don't need will end up in your cart. But no one is judging. When you see the prices and sizes, all judgment is off.
4. "Where my sample ladies at?"
Every Costco shopper knows that there's a glorious window of time when all the samples are hot and ready. Turning around every corner to see the little booths is the equivalent of Christmas morning.
5. The joy when they ask if you want another sample
When you go to Costco on an off day and the sample ladies offer you another chip, mini hot dog, or chicken nugget, you know you've made a good choice.
6. Circling back around to take another sample and being sneaky AF
On the chance that you go to Costco on a busy day, sneaking up to grab another sample requires ninja-like skills. Know that you're not the only one who has considered putting on sunglasses just to grab another Fruit by the Foot.
7. Thinking you're freezing to death while grabbing milk and eggs
The walk-in freezer where they keep the dairy products and fresh produce is still the coldest place I have ever been. It's a mad dash to grab everything you need and then get yourself out of there.
#SpoonTip: Go with a friend and divide and conquer.
8. Asking yourself if you should indulge in the bakery section
It's very hard to pass up a giant tray of warm gooey cookies, fresh breads, and pumpkin pie. Rationalize your decision by thinking about all the new friends you'll make when you show up with a platter of goodies.
9. Realizing you'll never need to buy Advil for the rest of the year
Costco is amazing for stocking up on essentials, putting them in your house, and not needing to buy them for another year. This is the movie for cleaning supplies, cosmetics, and medicine.
10. Thinking about all the parties you could have with that many red cups
Another joy of Costco living–seemingly having to buy silverware, plates, and cups only once year. You never have to worry again about having to do dishes or stocking up before having friends over.
11. Finding the perfect cardboard box to pack your goodies into your car
With all the new stuff in your cart, the thought of finding a way to pack it into your car is always daunting. You may begin to question if you bought too much. I'm here to tell you there's no such thing.
#SpoonTip: They pile up leftover cardboard boxes at the exit. Find the perfect shape to stuff all your goods in and place them effortlessly into your car.
12. Looking at your receipt like...
You went in for two items, came out with a new wardrobe and food for life.
13. Putting your new stuff into your fridge or cupboard
As Tom Haverford once said, “love fades away…but things last forever.” Next time you make the magical journey to Costco, think about how Tom wants you to have everything and more. Treat yo’ self.