Let me start off by saying that I REALLY wanted to like Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino. I’ve seen so many pictures of the beautiful beverage on my Pinterest feed with tags such as food porn attached to it. From the outside, the frappe looks like a heavenly cloud of cotton candy and cuddles, but the inside is a much different story.

cream, ice, strawberry
Rachel Ishee

While I was ordering at the Starbucks on Jackson Avenue and chatting up the barista, I noticed that there were about 10 other unicorn drinks being made. I ordered the drink at 8 p.m. and the barista informed me that they had been making the damn drinks all day and that they would be out of the magical supplies for tomorrow. Hearing that it would probably be sold out after one day on the menu, I assumed that it would be a bomb ass drink.

cookie, chocolate, cake
Rachel Ishee

I was wrong. Like VERY wrong.

The most beautiful drink in the world.

Appearance wise, I definitely eyegasmed when I saw it. Honestly that drink has more sex appeal than me. With its smooth transition from bright pink to sky blue, and a hint of purple poking through, it was probably the most beautiful thing that I had ever purchased. Topped off with some whipped cream and colorfully sprinkled with a substance that I can only guess was magic fairy dust, I was excited to go on what was sure to be an enchanted journey.

blueberry, juice, wine
Rachel Ishee

This isn't too bad.

When I first sipped the drink, I was a little surprised. It wasn’t the cotton candy land that I was expecting and hoping for, but almost like a creamy mango flavor. It wasn’t bad, just wasn’t what I was expecting. Then came the real shit show.

What the f*** happened?

As I slowly tried to identify several flavors that were occurring in my mouth, my pallet was attacked by a blue flood of what tasted like Warheads candy in liquid form. Goose bumps (and not the good kind) appeared all over my body and I immediately got a headache from the shock of what was happening in my mouth.

I tried to power through it but after losing all feeling in my tongue, I decided to call it quits.

All in all, the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino was pretty awful. Although, it was super cute, all it left me with was a cavity and $5 less in my bank account.