Let me start off by saying that eating like The Rock, a challenge I eagerly decided to take on, did not end up going how I thought it would. I thought I would hate it. I actually didn't think I'd make it all the way through. But I did, and I actually kind of liked it.

The diet, adapted from a sample I found of Dwayne Johnson's "cutting diet" consists of six meals, totaling up to about 5,000 calories. Each meal is as follows:

Meal 1: 10 scrambled eggs whites, 3 servings of oatmeal

Meal 2: 6 oz chicken breast, 2 cups of asparagus, 3 cups of yams

Meal 3: 3 tins of tuna + relish, 1 cup of celery + a spoonful of peanut butter, 2 cups of rice

Meal 4: 1 XL salmon fillet, 3 cups of rice, 2 cups of asparagus

Meal 5: 1 6 oz steak, 2 cups of broccoli, 3 cups of yams

Meal 6: 10 scrambled egg whites, 3 servings of oatmeal

You're probably seriously questioning why I would have enjoyed feeling like the girl who turns into a blueberry in Willy Wonka, but I promise I have my reasons. I didn't decide to eat like The Rock because I wanted to bulk up, or change my body, or anything like that. (Although, not having chicken arms would probably be cool.) More than anything, I really just wanted to see if I could actually stick to it and not quit halfway through. How hard could it be?

The Rock Diary Entry #1: 6:07 am

In full commitment to this challenge, I redownloaded the "Rock Clock" app on my phone, which is an alarm clock app made by The Rock himself. The app gives me the option to be woken up by Dwayne gently singing, "Good morning sunshine, get your candy ass out of bed," and also to wake up at "Rock Time" aka 3:50 IN THE MORNING. (If you want to hear that for yourself, here is the soundbite.)

I say redownloaded because I actually used to use this app — I genuinely woke up laughing every day. Sadly, I had to stop because I kept having extremely vivid dreams that The Rock was standing over my bed and singing to me at 3:50 am, fully decked out in that one outfit with the fanny pack (you know which one I'm talking about). That sh*t makes for a good story the next day, but really messes with your sleep. 

So here I am now, having just turned off The Rock's strangely good singing and all I can think about is how much I need coffee and how many eggs I'm about to consume. If I'm this tired and it's 6 am, I don't know how the hell The Rock wakes up two hours earlier than I have... every. single. day. My main conclusion so far is that The Rock is not an actual human, just a super-species alien with a stellar smile. 

The Rock Diary Entry #2: 9:23 am

Meal 1 went down okay, but honestly eating 10 scrambled egg whites at 7 am is a lot. It wasn't so much that I was full; it was more that I just literally never want to lay eyes on a scrambled egg white ever again. Good thing that's what I get to eat in Meal 6!

After attempting to amp up my metabolism by aggressively speed walking in circles around my apartment, I was actually excited for Meal 2. I was feeling inspired by The Rock and his no-holds-barred approach to life and was determined to channel that into myself. The diet outlined grilled chicken breast, asparagus, and yams, which were way nicer to eat than Meal 1, even if it was a bit weird to be eating half a chicken at 9:30 in the morning.

The Rock Diary Entry #3: 2:00 pm

I just finished Meal 4 and on a scale of 1 to 10, I am level 13 bloated. I wonder if I went outside right now how many people would ask me when my child is due to be born. I've never been so full in my life, and the food babies of Thanksgiving dinner past are nothing compared to this one.

Meal 3 is already a distant memory even though the taste of tuna heartburn refuses to leave my throat. It's like a bad ex boyfriend who won't stop texting you universally applicable GIFs with the caption "this reminded me of you." Yeah this GIF of a cute puppy that anyone could enjoy really shows me that you get me now.

The Rock Diary Entry #4: 4:17 pm

After writing the last entry I dragged myself out of bed and walked my way to the park near my apartment, hoping that I could walk off this bloat. As I rode the elevator down, I tenderly patted my food baby and contemplated how funny it would be if I bought a pair of Joey-style turkey pants. I made a mental note to see if I could get them in the same pattern as Phoebe's. 

After walking for a solid hour around the park, I was honestly feeling a lot better. I had left the apartment looking 6 months pregnant and had lost at least 3 months by the time I returned. My energy levels were also feeling good and I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I had made it through four out of the six meals already and I didn't feel like I was going to puke anymore. 

I also made a mental note to look into how much professional eating contestants make a year. Maybe I was discovering a new talent.

The Rock Diary Entry #5: 7:35 pm

Not only had I committed to eating like The Rock all day, but for some reason unknown to me, I decided to also commit to working out like The Rock. Not even on a different, less-likely-to-vom occasion, but on the same day.

It was probably the most grueling workout I have ever done and my belief that The Rock isn't human is getting stronger by the minute. However, I'm honestly ecstatic I somehow didn't puke all over my gym floor after 75 CRUNCHES.

Only two more meals to go — maybe I'll actually make it.

The Rock Diary Entry #6: 9:57 pm


I just shoveled down the last bite of my last meal and I have never been so relieved in my life. I know people use that expression a lot, but after having a staring contest with Meal 6 for an hour before being able to finish it, I genuinely mean it. I also never, ever, ever, want to see a scrambled egg white ever again. As I mentioned before, I have no freaking clue how The Rock does this every day.

That being said, I am happy I did this challenge. After Meal 5, I was back to being just-left-Grandma's-house-level bloated and I really didn't think I was going to be able to make it. After all, it was just me and my plate of food and nobody but myself holding me accountable. 

But somehow, I made it. I didn't bail halfway through, and I didn't even vomit (I have literally no idea how). Tbh, I'm actually pretty proud of myself for finishing this. 

Thank you, Dwayne, for showing me that I can do anything if I put my mind to it. But no, I probably won't be doing this again. The Rock weighs almost double my body weight, so there is no way in hell this diet would be sustainable for me, or my wallet — these groceries were expensive AF. However, if I can put my mind to doing this, who knows what else I can accomplish?