Finals week. It strikes terror in the hearts of students everywhere. When your GPA is banking on the four essays, two presentations and five exams you have due in the next seven days, it's easy to panic.
The contestants of Food Network's cooking competition "Chopped" know a thing or two about operating under pressure for a panel of judges. Between mystery ingredients like squid ink, pickled pig lips and stinging nettles, these chefs have seen it all. Here are some of the ways they handle things when the going gets tough:
Looking at everything you have to accomplish in the next week:
It'll all get done... probably.
And immediately ignoring all of it and making poor decisions instead:
I'm going out, even if it kills me.
Eventually realizing that you need to pull it together and get down to business:
Once you start doing laundry to procrastinate, you know it's time.
When your professor decides to give both a take-home and a written final:
The time I spent doing this take-home final is all the studying this written final is getting from me.
Going to office hours and doing whatever you can to get on your professor's good side:
"Did I mention your class is my favorite?"
When you start stress-eating everything in sight:
Insomnia Cookies delivers until 3 a.m., and you're up anyway.
Accepting that grad school may no longer be in the cards for you:
Maybe higher education just isn't for everyone.
Seriously contemplating a change in your major:
Why did I put myself through this, again?
When everything seems to be going wrong:
Your printer, shower and immune system all decide to fail at the exact same time.
So you call your mom and panic, but she doesn't really understand the severity of your situation:
"No, Mom, it's not 'just a grade!'"
When you're on your 10th straight hour of studying and you start to lose it:
That meme your friend just tagged you in on Facebook is suddenly the funniest picture you've ever seen.
When you save your entire essay until the night before it's due:
Twelve pages in 12 hours? Challenge accepted.
And get some unnecessarily harsh criticism on it:
There was definitely a gentler way they could have phrased that comment.
Walking into the exam with a false sense of confidence:
You spent a whole semester on this stuff! You probably didn't even need to study half that material!
Then looking at the first question:
Am I in the right exam?
Making eye contact with your friend in the same exam as you:
Okay, good, they don't know anything, either. At least you'll go down together.
Then looking up at your professor and they're like:
You and I both know we never covered #5 in class.
Finding out you passed:
All your hard work has been validated. Against the odds, you pulled it off. You are killing the game. You are the smartest person alive.
Or didn't:
Hey, you'll get another shot at it next semester.
Whether you emerge victoriously or get chopped this finals week, just remember summer is right around the corner. Hang in there just a few more days until you make it home to home-cooked meals that even Ted Allen would approve of.