Domino’s pizza and college students is a match made in heaven, and with every perfect romance comes a great love story. So here’s a step-by-step guide to creating your own perfect pizza love story in college.
Step 1: Crave Dominos forever and always
Morning, evening, night, whether you’re at class, a party, or pulling an all-nighter, pizza is on your mind. Always. Just when you think you’ve forgotten it and moved on, there it appears again, that image of a shiny, gooey slice of pizza waiting for you to devour it.
Step 2: Finally lose all self control
The need for that cheesy goodness finally overcomes you and you cave. It’s pizza time, and nothing will stop you now.
Step 3: Log into your Domino’s account
They even welcome you to their website, so kind. And if you’re a seasoned Domino’s addict, then you already have an easy order all set and ready to go.
*Pro tip: add some of Domino’s other best non-pizza items to your order
Step 4: Avoid healthy food
“No, I don’t want to add a salad to my order of a medium pizza and cheesy bread, thank you very much.”
Step 5: Place the order
Press that beautiful, red order button. You know you have to. There’s no turning back now. Say “I do” and maybe they’ll give you a pizza engagement ring too.
Step 6: Pick your favorite pizza tracker theme
From metal to romance, they bless us with not one, not two, but SIX themes. Choose wisely.
Step 7: Obsessively checking the tracker
It’s almost impossible to take your eye off the tracker, lest you miss a critical step in the development of your precious Domino’s pizza.
Step 8: Rush to the door when the pizza arrives
Drop everything the moment you get a call or the doorbell rings. You never knew you could even run that fast, but the desire for pizza can truly do crazy things to a person’s body. You are boundless with the power of pizza on your side.
Step 9: Pay
Signing a check or getting out cash is nearly impossible with the strong, tempting smell of pizza wafting up at you. Try not to get too distracted in the process. Stay strong.
Step 10: Walk back in with the pizza
Step 10 1/2: Eat a slice during that walk
Step 11: Devour all that goodness in a record amount of time
“Where did all the pizza go? I swear there was still half a pie left, like, a minute ago.”
Step 12: Live in complete ecstasy
You’ve never felt this good in your life. Well… at least since the last time you ordered Domino’s pizza.
Step 13: The realization
Oh no. Your body finally realizes what just happened. Did you really just eat a whole pizza and cheesy bread all by yourself? Yes, yes you did.
Step 14: Question all of your life choices leading up to this point
“Did I really need to order pizza? Why have I ordered pizza three times in the past week? How has my life come to this point? How is my body even functioning after all this food? Was it worth it? Why am I even questioning that? Of course it was worth it.”
Step 15: Food coma
Eating all that Domino’s might have been worth it, but your body still must face the consequences, aka laying immobile for at least half an hour after.
*Pro tip: continue questioning all your live choices during this step as well
Step 16: Curse the pizza gods for creating such a temptation
Why must we be tempted so? Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if Adam and Eve were temped with a slice of pizza instead of an apple… seems a little more realistic.
Step 17: Repeat process ad infinitum
There’s no turning back after your first Domino’s pizza order. Welcome to the dark side, we have pizza.