Sex is one of our most basic human needs. It keeps us motivated, allows us to pass off our genes, and is, well, quite enjoyable. But food is vital to living as well, and there are quite a few foods that are more orgasmic than sex itself. They aren’t just porn for the eyes, but for the taste buds as well. At least getting caught in the kitchen cooking isn’t as embarrassing as getting caught mid-coitus.
Pull-Apart Bread
Photo by Emily Gordon
The only thing you need to worry about pulling out is your bread. Don’t worry if you aren’t quick to do it, though with possibilities like cheddar bacon ranch pull-apart bread, I’m sure you’ll pull out as fast as you can.
Dark Chocolate
Photo by Emily Hu
Sex is healthy, but so are these truffles. Ditch your satin underwear and nightgown – dark chocolate is the only silky smooth thing you need in your life. Besides, they’re shaped like balls for a reason, but we’d prefer you eat these rather than the alternative.
Soufflés
Photo by Alex Vu
While classic soufflés may not be as easy to get up as some other things, when you do manage to do it, it’s so damn rewarding. If you’re lucky, the real money shot is that decadent crème anglaise you’re pouring in the center.
Thick-Cut Bacon
Photo by Christin Urso
When it comes to bacon, thicker is always better. This way, you can hold more meat and – well, you get the rest. Make brown sugar bacon for a real sticky treat that’ll have you sucking your fingers dry for sure.
Fried Chicken
Photo by Parisa Soraya
Yeah, handling thighs and breasts is fun, but sometimes we just really want to dip ’em in batter and fry them. Fortunately, we can do just that with chicken breasts and thighs, or you can cut them up into smaller pieces to make nuggets, if you’re into that.
Loaded Fries
Photo by Jedd Marrero
Quite frankly, it’s probably best if you don’t eat a load. But, you definitely can eat loaded fries, which is more ideal. Even In-N-Out had the right idea with their animal style fries. Kinky.
Poached Eggs
Photo by Paige Marie Rodgers
It’s called #yolkporn for a reason. Poached eggs are so squishy and soft, and watching the yolk ooze out makes everyone feel some type of way. If you’re not ready to dive unprotected into the vortex of simmering water and vinegar, you can always make them using plastic wrap.
Glazed Cinnamon Buns
Photo by Gia Vizzone
Perhaps the greatest part is squirting that sticky, sweet glaze on those perfectly plump buns. Thankfully, the cleanup in this case is easier than it is in bed. Make sure to lick every last drop of glaze.
Mozzarella Sticks
Photo by Audrey Mirabito
Perfectly phallic, except in this case you can bite down and even swallow without any problems. Is the similarly-shaped male organ crunchy and golden brown? Didn’t think so.