I request that we put aside all judgment for the sake of my journalistic integrity. Yes, I am crazy. I ruined my small bathtub (which is truly a luxury as a freshman) by filling it with partially cooked mac and cheese. Then, I allowed/forced myself to soak in this mac and cheese bath, and I captured it on camera. I truly had a mac and cheese bath bomb ~experience~. Here’s what happened.
CVS Excursions and Rallying the Troops
The first step, like in any bad choice, was denial. I told myself that it wouldn’t be that bad, that gross, or that weird. I mean, other people have done this, so it can’t be that bad, right?
I quickly recognized that there may be flaws in this plan. Will cheese clog my pores? How will I ever clean this bathtub? Will I ever be able to eat mac and cheese again?
Pushing through these fears for the sake of ~journalism~, I went on a journey to CVS and bought supplies: 10 boxes of Kraft Mac and Cheese (which were luckily on sale), some rubber gloves for cleaning, and duct tape to cover my drainless tub.
I then reached out to all of my closest friends and the entire Spoon Georgetown chapter to try to find a buddy. Shockingly, people were not overly thrilled for the chance to bathe with me (thanks, guys). After some begging, I got some of my friends to come watch and one even said she’d consider taking a dip in the bath too.
Am I crazy? Probably. But I have assembled the supplies and a troop of (relatively) willing attendees to assist me in my ~macaroni journey~.
The Bath
Literally, the last thing I wanted to do when I saw this “water” was to get naked, but somehow I made my way into the mac and cheese bath bomb tub. It reeked. I am convinced that Kraft does not use real cheese for their products because it does NOT smell like cheese.
Immediately upon entering the tub, I was overwhelmed by the floating and quite active pasta. It slithered around my body in a manner that can only be described as disturbing. I wanted to vomit, but I persisted.
Don’t I look so hype to be here? I’m truly living the life, holding the greatest food in the world. NOT. We may not have fully cooked the macaroni, but it was incredibly slimy.
I’m amazed by these girls. No matter how hard I tried, it was truly impossible to write “SEND NUDES” in Kraft Cheese.
Would I 10/10 Recommend to a Friend?
NO. Please do not subject yourself (or anyone else) to the horrific experience of a mac and cheese bath bomb. If you need any additional explanation, look at my legs and arms. I appear to have suffered through a chemical experiment.
I also can confirm that the mac and cheese has dried out my skin, even though the fatty properties in the cheese should have acted as a moisturizer. Further proof this cheese ain’t real.
If you are looking for lolz, do something else. This is not fun, this is not funny, and you will smell like cheese for the next three days. BRB, I’m going to take another shower.