It is almost that time of year where many of us college students will be heading home to see our families and eat food that hasn’t been sitting in a metal buffet tin all day. Thanksgiving, or “Stuff Your Face Until Your Stomach Hurts Day,” is just around the corner. Since the anticipation of the Thanksgiving Feast is wreaking havoc on my sanity, I’ve create a definitive list of the top 10 most popular Thanksgiving foods ranked from worst to best.
10. Sweet Potatoes and Marshmallows
This combines two things that don’t taste good in the hopes that they might make each other taste better, but it does not work. Sweet potatoes are always a letdown. You go in expecting something resembling a potato and you get a weird orange substance that does taste sweet, but is as far from a potato as can be imagined. As for marshmallows, when they’re in s’mores, I can get behind them. On top of a sweet (impostor) potato? Not so much.
9. String Beans
My personal philosophy is if it’s green, don’t eat it. The T-Rex just ate animals and it turned out fine. On holidays, adults can’t tell you to eat your veggies, so take advantage and eat other foods on the top of this list.
8. Stuffing
Now, I know there are a few types of stuffing out there and I have met people who passionately defend whatever type their Thanksgivings include. I’ll make this easy: They’re all bad. I don’t care if it’s rice or bread based; it’s a no from me.
7. Cranberry Sauce
Cranberry sauce is alright. I wouldn’t go and seek it out on my own, but if it is included in the Thanksgiving spread, I’ll add a little to my plate. If there’s room.
6. Mac and Cheese
Someone told me recently that mac and cheese was a Thanksgiving staple for them. I don’t know what kind of Thanksgiving dinners you are all having, but if they include mac and cheese, please shoot me an invite. Mac and cheese is delicious regardless of the occasion. I mean, you can even make mac and cheese in a mug. Excuse me while I call my mom and ask her to add this dish to the menu this year.
5. Turkey
Turkey (when cooked right) makes Thanksgiving. Whether it is some juicy white meat or some rich dark meat, you should definitely pile this Thanksgiving staple high on your plate.
4. Homemade Pumpkin Pie
That crispy, flaky crust with the lovely spiced pumpkin filling is one of life’s greatest pleasures. I will say that homemade pumpkin pie is almost always better than store bought and it’s the homemade kind that pushes pumpkin pie to a higher ranking on this list.
3. Rolls
My record for rolls eaten in one Thanksgiving is seven and I only stopped eating them because we ran out. Fresh baked rolls with a little butter brushed on top go fast in my household. Mostly because I eat all of them before anyone else can even get seconds.
2. Mashed Potatoes
The proper way to load up your Thanksgiving plate is to grab a few pieces of turkey, three rolls, a little sprinkling of some other dishes, and half a plate full of some cheesy, garlicky mashed potatoes. At least, that’s what you’ll find on my plate every year. Mashed potatoes are great because they can be eaten on their own, with gravy on top, or even with some turkey mixed in. What the heck, combine all three and plop it in a roll to experience four of Thanksgiving’s best foods all at once.
1. Gravy
Gravy is technically a condiment, but it can go on so many foods, Thanksgiving or otherwise, that it can be considered its own dish. On mashed potatoes? Duh. Turkey? Of course. Sandwiches? Sign me up. By itself? I’ve done it. It’s a versatile concoction of salty goodness. Make sure to smother your plate with Thanksgiving’s best dish this season because #noregrets
Soon, these Thanksgiving dishes we’ve been craving will be right in front of us. Passing on those Thanksgiving dishes that are the worst and loading up on those that are best will ensure that your stretchy pants are full of happiness instead of shame this year.