If you’ve ever shopped in an American grocery store, you’ve seen Lofthouse Cookies, or some sort of bargain equivalent. You know the ones I’m talking about. Their soft, crumbly texture, the sprinkles, the thick, fluorescent icing—these are all essential parts of why people love this cookie. Or conversely, why people love to hate this cookie.
I personally can’t stand these cookies. All of my friends are quick to tell you that I love frosting. if I could get a tub of Betty Crocker on my birthday without the cake underneath, I would. So, that’s not the issue here.
I’ve always had an issue with texture texture, so I think the fact that this cookie just kind of squishes in your mouth doesn’t sit right with me. I’m also not down with desserts that look low-key uncooked (or unbaked). When these cookies are passed around at cookouts and parties, I take a hard pass.
You Either Love ‘Em or Hate ‘Em
There are some people who would go to their grave swearing that these cookies are the worst things to come out of the bakery aisle. That said, for every Lofthouse cookie hater, there’s another person who sings this cookie’s praises.
For My Fellow Haters, Why Are These Cookies So Bad?
So, what’s the deal with these Lofthouse Cookies and why are they so notorious today in the grocery aisle?
According to the Lofthouse website, Lofthouse cookies are “mixed from a family recipe,” and that’s all we get for details. The company stays pretty mum on what’s actually in these famous treats.
But regardless of the lack of information that Lofthouse is willing to share, I obviously had to put on my detective’s cap and find out why these cookies are the actual worst.
I did some sleuthing and checked out some recipes for copycat Lofthouse Cookies, like this one from Center Cut Cook, and found that these recipes all include sour cream. The sour cream adds a lot of moisture to cookies, and can definitely be part of the reason why people are so averse to these treats.
For my own part, I’ve also never liked sour cream—keep that ish away from my tacos, baked potatoes, and especially my cookies. Other than that, nearly everything about Lofthouse cookies are the same as your regular, homemade variety, even down to the 11-12 minute cook time. So, can sour cream really be the key to this cookie conundrum?
Obviously, I can’t settle for that being the single answer, so I had to dig a little deeper. Ever wonder why you might have never realized the actual name of these cookies, aka why there are so many bargain versions?
Since these cookies are so #basic, any company with access to sugar, butter, and eggs can make them. Because of this, any company—including the grocery store itself—can hawk these things at a crazy-low price. You don’t even need the Lofthouse label for your sugar high.
In fact, you could probably pick up the store brand without even thinking of it. Nothing says “cheap and lazy snack” like whatever box is easiest to grab in the bakery section.
So, when you see these cookies at a family party, barbecue, work lunch, third cousin’s wedding, etc., keep in mind that whoever brought them, bought them because they were easy and cheap, and probably not because they thought you’d actually like them.
They Don’t Even Look Appealing
Okay, so if taste and price doesn’t bother you, what about the fact that something about Lofthouse cookies isn’t quite visually right? These cookies are so pale that they look like they’ve never seen the inside of an oven, and the icing could probably glow in the dark it’s so bright.
Bright colors are nothing new in food, just ask the creators of mermaid and rainbow foods, but these trends quickly turn into tired fads.
And while there are people lining up at stores for sushi and poke, people ordering steak tartare at fancy restaurants, and New Yorkers going crazy for DO’s cookie dough, I’m not down for eating things that look downright raw and sickly.
In the era of food porn, I need my snacks to be as lovely on the outside as they are on the inside, ya feel?
So, What’s to Like?
Honestly, with a debate like these, it’s pretty much a game of “point versus counter-point.” I like crunchy cookies, but someone else could just as easily say that soft cookies are the only way to go. I like less food coloring, but someone else could love their snacks Rainbow Bright.
At the end of the day, however, I certainly don’t like Lofthouse cookies, I’m not sure that there is a definitive answer to this food fight. One ingredient, a price point, or an appearance can’t explain fully why legions of people love to hate these cookies. I guess, like everything else with food, it comes down to personal taste.