Scarfing down a bag of chips, digging into a huge stack of pancakes, or slurping down a slushy, you become the attacker. Devouring food as if it was your prey is normal for food lovers. However, there are those few, yet devastating times when eating a delicious meal goes terribly wrong. The time when you bit food and food bit back, like a horror scene straight out of Sausage Party.
From champagne bottles chipping your teeth to 2nd degree ramen noodle burns, here are some of the worst (but kind of funny) accounts from everyday people who claim that their food “bit back.”
1. Chipped by Champagne
“I was at a Christmas party at a frat house—you know the ones where they have all the packing peanuts. And I was having a good time and all, and right when I took a sip of the shitty champagne, my friend threw her hands into the air and her elbow jammed the bottom of the bottle. And it went straight into my mouth, chipping my tooth. It was very painful.”
2. The Wasabi Warrior
“My sisters dared me to eat a whole glob of wasabi at a sushi restaurant, which I knew was terrible idea, but couldn’t lose a bet. It felt like fire in my throat, and I thought it would burn a hole in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and threw it up and couldn’t finish the rest of my meal. I can say it was honestly the worse food experience I have ever had.”
3. Going Greek
“Thought I got Greek yogurt at a dinning hall, but it was sour cream.”
4. Sleeping While Saucing
“One time I was sleep deprived and I put salsa on my spaghetti because I thought it was marinara. And to this day, I’m not sure how that happened…”
5. A Family That Eats Together
“My mom made chocolate meringue pie and accidentally used salt instead of sugar. It was runny as hell, and you could’ve drank it through a straw, but we all still ate it to make her feel good.”
6. Chicken Branded
“It came to my attention that I finished a whole tray of Publix fried chicken after I came home from a long night out and found the tray was void of chicken. I remember walking downstairs and it looked like an animal got into the house. I’m also pretty sure I carried some of the chicken up to my bed too, because there was a piece of chicken impressed on my right cheek.”
7. Ramen Noodle Scars
“One night I decided to make myself some ramen. When I sat down to eat it, I somehow let go of it and boiling hot ramen fell on my legs. Now I have scars and I can’t eat ramen anymore.”
8. A Savage At Any Age
“When I was 8, I drank a whole cup of sour apple pucker mix, not knowing it had alcohol, and when my mom came home, I was passed out drunk on the floor and she didn’t know why.”
9. Donut Road Kill
“My family was driving home from the Worlds Fair in Montreal, Canada, and it was hunting season. We had bought donuts from a gas station for the drive home, and I loved donuts so I ate three, which is a lot for a 7 year-old. A deer came out of nowhere and our car hit it. I remember the stomach churning sound it’s body made as it hit the window. I threw up the donuts all over the car and haven’t been able to eat one since.”