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Lifestyle

How to Eat a Banana Without Drawing Attention to Yourself

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at UNL chapter.

Let’s talk about how awkward it is to make eye contact with someone while eating a banana. No matter how you eat it, it’s bound to be sexual. So I’m providing you with a guide on how to innocently eat a banana in class. 

Slice It Up

Banana rice sweet
Sami Reinhard

You can’t go wrong with tiny, bite-sized slices of banana. Pop them in your mouth and you will never have to worry about the sex appeal that comes with eating it whole.

Blend It 

Banana water ice
Photo by Leah Nordman

Who said you have to eat a banana in its original state? Blend it into a banana smoothie, with other left over fruits. Or if you’re super fancy, freeze them first and then blend for a cool banana ice cream.

Break It Up

Banana banana dairy product
Photo by Emma Delaney

If a banana was a euphemism for how to convey feelings toward a someone, this method could be like saying, “Stay the f*ck away from me.” Don’t get too aggressive though, it’s just a banana.

Eat It Side Ways

Banana vegetable banana
Sami Reinhard

Switch things up and eat it from the side. Hold the banana parallel to your mouth and take a mouthful from the middle. This may generate weird looks, but at least it’s funny. And that is what we are going for here. 

So don’t be awkward while eating a banana. Try any of these unattractive ways to eat the penis shaped fruit, or make some banana muffins, top your oatmeal with it, add it to yogurt, or make banana pancakes. Do literally anything else than make eye contact with someone while eating a banana. 

I surfed, hiked, biked, and swam my way through my childhood and ended up in Nebraska to play soccer. I am an acai bowl addict, an adventure enthusiast, and a soccer fanatic. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for my family and the abundance of coffee that i have consumed in my life time.