Many were infuriated when Brock Turner (otherwise known as the Stanford Rapist) was only sentenced to six months in jail for raping a young woman. On Friday, something even more ridiculous happened: He was released halfway through his sentence on good behavior.
He raped a woman. She will have to live with the physical and emotional trauma of rape for the rest of her life. He only served three months. Let’s just put it in to perspective. Here are seven foods that take longer to make than Brock Turner sat in jail.
1. Balsamic Vinegar
Actually making balsamic vinegar does not take that much time or effort. You just have to heat some grapes. However, the balsamic vinegar must then age in a barrel for the length of Brock’s original jail sentence. Letting the balsamic vinegar age for any less time would produce a bad product that would anger many customers.
2. Aged Beef
If you’ve ever been to a fancy steakhouse, you might have seen aged beef on the menu. This beef is usually aged for about a month, but gourmet restaurants might step it up a notch by aging it for up to five months.
While aged beef has received rave reviews, it still has nothing on the beef this reporter has with Brock Turner’s short jail sentence.
3. Cheese
You could easily make your own cheese in just fifteen minutes, but many other cheeses must age for months before they can be fully enjoyed. Blue cheese that started aging when Brock Turner went to jail may just be ready to eat. Parmesan cheese would still have at least another six months to age.
4. Prosciutto
Prosciutto is often called the Italian version of bacon, but it takes much longer to make. It has to cure for about a month and then dry for at least six more. You know, over double the amount of time Brock Turner spent in a cell.
5. Wine
I will warn you that wine begins the first of several types of alcohol on this list (it’s only fitting, considering how Brock Turner blamed alcohol for his actions). Not all wines need to age. However, those that do need to age, like Bordeaux, Riesling, Champagne, and Merlot, take years before they are ready.
6. Beer
Beer doesn’t take too long to make. The crappy college beer they were probably drinking the night of the party only takes weeks to make. However, other types of beer, like lagers, can take up to a full year.
7. Whiskey
Ah whiskey, millennials’ preferred drink. Just like beer, whiskey has to be fermented and then aged before it can be enjoyed. Just like Brock, whiskey gets about three months before it’s released from its prison of a barrel.