I have always been a goal-oriented person: spiritually, mentally, physically, academically, etc. You name a goal, and I’ve probably set it. And yet, while I achieved many of my goals, I cannot honestly say that I achieved them in a way that nurtured my holistic health. For instance, I often sacrificed rest, time with friends, and exercise for additional study time in high school and college. This toxic-at-times, perfectionist mindset has weaved its way into another area of my life as well: food.
Influenced by the “all-or-nothing” perspectives of others, I used to have a negative relationship with food. I would set goals like eating clean, swearing off sugar or kicking caffeine to the curb. I would inevitably trip up a little bit and throw in the towel altogether before eventually deciding to give a health journey another go. Rinse and repeat.
In December 2024, I decided that I was tired of this cycle. Instead of resolving to only allow vegetables within a 10-foot radius of me, I crafted a simple goal: to heal my relationship with food. This six-word, seemingly tiny initiative subtly changed the way I view food, creating a mindset that my past self would have longed for.
How food noise blared in my life.
I’ve been hearing the phrase “food noise” quite often, and I think it’s a perfect description of what I used to experience internally. My research found that there isn’t truly a set definition of what food noise is; it’s the kind of phrase that each person has to define for themselves. For me, food noise was the ceaseless cycle of thinking about each individual meal. Because I believe in showing rather than telling, I am going to let you into a typical day of how I used to interact with food:
- Morning: Cook some scrambled eggs. (I hate eggs, but this is what the Internet showed healthy people ate for breakfast.)
- Afternoon: A sandwich sounds good, but a salad is more socially acceptable. So I guess I’ll make one of those.
- Evening: The steak and potatoes are heavenly at this restaurant. I should probably order a sweet potato, though. Aren’t those healthier? Back to the drawing board.
- Night: Everyone wants to go out for dessert! Honestly, since I did so well today, I’m going to treat myself to a large dessert. My tummy probably will feel bad later, but it will be so worth it right now. And I can always restart tomorrow!
Do you see any patterns here? When I zoomed out, I began picking up on some habits. First, I was not eating the food I really wanted. Worse, I was actually eating food I didn’t like so that I could conform to some idealistic version of “healthy” in my head. Second, I villainized foods by labeling them. It’s easy to see where this mindset comes from. Even as early as elementary school, we hear foods described as “junk” or “fatty.” But when you really think about what this means objectively, it simply means that these foods won’t fuel your body in a sustainable way. However, I’d argue that demonizing these foods actually gave them more power, and more appeal, in my head. Third, I was viewing food as a short-term obligation rather than a long-term investment in my health.
How I altered my mindset.
Once I was aware of what was holding me back, I began to research strategic ways that I could move forward, and I uncovered intuitive eating. According to Brown University Health, the concept “focuses on making peace with food, honoring your body’s ability to recognize hunger and fullness, and following your body’s cues.” In other words, mindfulness.
I decided to give it an initial try this summer, and I thought about what I wanted to change. I still wanted to prioritize nutrient-dense foods, but I didn’t want to forget about my mental health because constantly thinking about my next snack isn’t healthy, either. I also recognized some foods that others consider healthy don’t make me feel great. For instance, whole wheat bread? I’m gluten intolerant. At the same time, some foods that others tear down make me feel awesome.
I gave myself a few ground rules. First, I would pay more attention to my hunger cues. If I was hungry for some chips before dinner, I could eat some without any sentiment attached. And I didn’t always have to be a member of the clean plate club. I could stop eating when I was full without feeling guilty about not finishing. Second, no food was off limits; I just needed to be mindful about consumption.
When I put these rules in place, I noticed myself genuinely craving more functional foods. My beach snack of choice was snap peas and carrots. Not because they were the “best” option, but because they were refreshing and crunchy. At a family dinner, I found myself opting for grilled fish and rice simply because it sounded good and kept me full while saving room for dessert: a Nothing Bundt Cake gluten free lemon raspberry individual bundlet. I’m normally a chocolate girl, but the fruity cake sounded satisfying at that moment. It was!
As I began to challenge the way I thought about and ate food, I realized how many invisible food parameters I had inadvertently created for myself in my desire to be “healthy.” This experiment was an eye-opening way for me to see that I can feel my best without putting myself in a restrictive box, acknowledging where I am day-to-day and still considering the long-term impacts of the food I eat.
How I maintain that mindset.
Defeating my all-or-nothing mindset sparked a perspective that I have worked hard to preserve. I no longer have food FOMO. For example, a few weeks ago, I turned down a post-dinner ice cream run because I knew it would push me from satisfied to uncomfortably full. At the same time, I know that dessert is never forbidden. Giving myself the freedom to eat all foods when they sound good instead of when I feel an obligation to makes it an honor to sustain my health, not a chore.
The changes go beyond my plate, too. Following like-minded figures (and unfollowing others) on social media has been an important component of this journey. For instance, I love following Registered Dietitian and Intuitive Eating Counselor Bonnie Roney from Diet Culture Rebel. Both her social media content and her podcast work in tandem to call attention to the small ways that society changes how we view food and ourselves.
I have also noticed increased intentionality in other areas of my life. For instance, mindful movement complements intuitive eating. Some days I love to go for runs, and other days I simply feel like doing some gentle stretches. Each method gets my body moving in a way that works for me at that moment.
How I’m approaching this new year.
There is not one single relationship in my life that I don’t have to continually invest in. My fiancé and I go on dates. My parents and I have TV nights. My friends and I schedule coffee meet-ups. Therefore, my relationship with food, like every other, is a work in progress.
In 2026, I don’t have any drastic food-related resolutions. Instead, I want to continue creating a dietary philosophy that includes all foods, from the leafy greens to the rich sweets, considering my holistic health one plate at a time.