Spoon University Logo
chocoanus
chocoanus
Lifestyle

Have Your Anus and Eat It Too

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at UC Berkeley chapter.

Warning: Opening this page in public may result in perturbed glances from those around you, but Spoon reassures you that this content is SFW.

UK-based chocolatier Magnus Irvin, along with his business partner Michael Ritzema, has revolutionized the tradition of gift-giving with unique chocolates. Founded in 2006, Edible Anus offers handcrafted, artisan Belgian chocolates to customers around the world. According to the company website, these chocolates are “rings of succulent chocolate cast and crafted from the posterior of our stunning butt model.”

Simply put: gourmet butthole chocolates.

anus

Photo courtesy of http://now-here-this.timeout.com

Before we jump to conclusions about this bizarre chocolate, let’s look at Irvin’s take on his work of art and the painstaking efforts made to produce the Edible Anus.

Why anuses? Irvin believes that the “anus range can dissolve cultural boundaries of race, gender, class, and sexual orientation.” Perhaps this is because the anus, unlike any other body part, has no stereotypes attached to it.

Irvin’s first try at casting a mold of his own bum resulted in disaster. “I poured the stuff in me bum and it all run past me nuts into me face,” he said. He eventually found a woman, whom he met at a bus stop, who was willing to let him cast a mold of her rump. To this day, she does not know that her anus has gone global and into the homes (and mouths) of thousands of strangers.

anus

Photo courtesy of http://laurajul.dk

Each box of chocolate includes one of each of the three  flavors: “meek milk, dilated dark and tight white Belgian chocolate.” US customers can now purchase 5 boxes for $38.95.

anus

Photo courtesy of http://laurajul.dk

Not a big fan of chocolate? No problem. The anus also comes in non-edible, permanent versions as well: Crystal Glass ($420), Solid Silver ($420) and Solid Bronze ($285).

anus

Photo courtesy of http://www.edibleanus.com

While Edible Anus may already have a butt model for its chocolates, you, too, can be one. For about $1900, you can have your own anus cast into a mold and shaped into a solid bronze anus. Check out this video of alternative model Rayna Terror in the process of casting her own anus into a bronzed ornament. Are we lucky to be alive in the 21st century or what?

anus

Photo courtesy of http://www.breitbart.com

And if you think chocolate buttholes aren’t romantic, this past Valentine’s Day said otherwise. An overwhelmingly high demand for Edible Anuses for V-day led to a shortage, and restocks weren’t available until February 26th. Whether this is an intimate gift for your loved one or a humorous gift for a friend, make sure to pre-order now for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter and other special occasions.

Now that’s what we call a sweet a** gift.

Eileen Wang

UC Berkeley '18

Eileen is a 4th-year studying Business Administration UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business. She dislikes lukewarm food and loves almond lattes. She denies her lactose-intolerance because dairy is just too good, but is currently conquering vegan baking.