The Game of Thrones (#GoT) finale is creeping up on us, and we’re all on our toes about what comes next. The Blackfish is dead, Rickon is dead, Jon came back to life, The Mountain came back to life, and the Hound never died in the first place. The rest of the cast could be killed for all we know, and considering George R.R. Martin’s history, that’s totally plausible.
If you are like me in that #GoT has consumed your life and manipulated your emotions, you’ll need to honor this finale in a very special way. To assist in that, I have devised a menu of #GoT inspired snacks with links to the recipes:
#SpoonTip: All recipes can be made vegan with a few tweaks!
Tyrion Lannister Shortbread Cookies (Pun intended)
Tyrion is a dwarf, so obviously… he’s short. He’s a cool dude that is often under appreciated by his family and superiors, even though he works hard to keep them safe. Because of that, we’re gonna bake him a cookie that nails every detail on his body, including that nasty scar he got on his face at the Battle of the Blackwater Bay. Thanks, Cersei. For this recipe, you’ll need red, yellow and blue food coloring and a gingerbread man cookie cutter.
More than once, the throne has been called an “ugly old thing,” but despite how ugly it is, it’s the basis of the whole show. Virtually everyone is fighting for their claim to the throne, and everyone loves cupcakes, so why not put them together?
Those poor Starks deserve a little recognition. The Stark house sigil is a dire wolf, and you can use any kind of cookies with these, but sugar cookies are probably the easiest. If you’re crafty, you can bake them from scratch. If you’re not crafty, you can bake them with store-bought dough.
Throughout the entire #GoT series, they mention several times that Sansa loves lemon cakes. Sansa has finally proven herself to be strong and ambitious versus the whiney little brat she used to be in previous seasons.
Good old dead Ned. I miss his noble ass, but if he hadn’t kicked it, #GoT would’ve been discontinued after one season. I guess cake pops are a kind of messed up way to salute the fallen honorable Ned Stark, but they’re yummy, so I’m sure he’d understand.
OK, enough about the Starks, most of them are already dead anyway. With The Viper cocktail, we pay tribute to another one of my favorite fallen characters from a few seasons back, Oberyn “The Viper” Martell. He was an angry dude that loved to drink and suffered a nasty death, so we should honor him with a spicy cocktail.
I’m banking on Dany to kill it for the finale because I’m dying to confirm the R+L=J theory. Think about it, she’d be Jon’s aunt! I’m confident in her because she finally has access to all three of her badass dragons that so many people have tried to take from her, #rude.
Because Brienne is a woman, she does not have the option of being an actual anointed knight but she’s probably the most honorable and noble character on the entire show out of all six seasons so far. She failed a few times but is very dedicated to keeping the promise that she made to Cat back in season three.
Bonus: For the particularly bold, here’s a fun new drinking game to play when watching:
- If you think Loras Tyrell’s sexy ass will live, take a shot.
- If you think Arya and The Hound will have a not so friendly reunion, take a shot.
- If you think Sansa will have Littlefinger killed, take a shot.
- If you think The Blackfish isn’t actually dead, take a shot.
- If you think Dany will start showing us a darker side, take a shot.
You get the idea, it’s pretty simple. The last player standing wins, and hey, if you can’t keep up… Valar Morghulis.