Cooking gameshows are, arguably, the best types of game shows. Everyone thinks they’re the best and they love to talk shit about each other. So let’s pair two of my favorite things: Cutthroat Kitchen and drinking. If you already love Cutthroat Kitchen, you’re about to love it a whole lot more, because you’ll be drunk.
- Drink for 2 seconds any time you hear the phrase “cold hard cash.”
Now to really start:
Pick the contestant you think is going to win.
- If this person gets eliminated, you must finish your drink.
- For every sabotage your contestant gives, give someone 3 seconds.
- If this person wins, give someone a shot.
- If this person has zero sabotages in a round, you drink for 3 seconds because that’s unfair and you have to suffer for it.
Finally, take a drink…
- If someone is extremely overly confident. Use discretion.
- If you hate a contestant immediately. Use discretion.
- If someone wishes they had an ingredient they didn’t pick up.
- If someone spends more than $5,000 in the first round.
- If someone says “I make ______ dish all the time” or any variation of this.
- If you have an audible response when any new sabotage is introduced.
- If you laugh at the TV.
- If someone ups a single bid more than $1,000.
- If someone talks shit about another contestant.
- If someone forgets an essential ingredient.
- If you’re laughing specifically because of something Alton Brown did or said.
- If someone makes a “deconstructed” meal.
- If someone makes up a false story related to their sabotage.
- If two competitors act like teammates.
- Added bonus for anyone who chose these two contestants at the beginning: for the remainder of the round, only your partner(s) can pick up your cup if you have to drink. Use teamwork.
Finish your drink…
- If someone spends more than $7,000 dollars in any round.
- If someone is eliminated for a reason completely unrelated to a sabotage.
- If someone talks back to a judge.
Take a shot…
- If someone spends more than $10,000 dollars in any round.
- If someone wins, but has less than $1,000 dollars left.
Now that you know the rules, I feel pretty confident that the longer you play this game, the funnier each sabotage will seem. Also, you’ll probably get pretty hungry, so make sure you drunk cook safely. Otherwise, game on.