At 2pm on a long Monday afternoon, all I want is a Starbucks tall iced coffee. Simple as that. But these people make the endlessly long line even longer, making my already-unstable-from-lack-of-caffeine mind go crazy.
1. The Wishy Washy Customer
The guy in front of me asked for a soda at Starbucks then got mad and ordered a “vanilla bean frappe”. pic.twitter.com/fY4Sjhamht
— Eva Gutowski (@lifeaseva) April 2, 2015
This person is notorious for being a line plug. Instead of being like, “Oh I don’t know what I want, please go ahead of me,” they’ll stand in that long line, debating what to get, and then change their mind four times at the last second. It’s infuriating, for both the barista and everyone stuck behind them in line.
2. The Crazy Customizer
“Can I have an iced, half caff, ristretto, venti, 4-pump, sugar free, cinnamon, dolce soy skinny latte?”
Ummm, no? If you hear the person in front of you ordering this, be prepared to wait while the barista struggles to fit all of this on one cup. I can guarantee that you probably don’t even know half the words in that order, and you really don’t want to either.
3. The Frappe Lover
A photo posted by Rebekah Koontz (@rebekahkoontz) on
The thing about midday Starbucks runs is that you’ll probably see tons of high schoolers crowded into your local Starbucks. They’ll order Venti frappes with tons of whipped cream and you’ll wonder how they stay so skinny.
4. The Caffeine Addict
A photo posted by James Hicks (@jhicks) on
This person is most likely either a businessman or a very overworked college student. They’ll order some drink with too many shots of espresso to count, or a Trenta iced coffee. Either way, you’re pretty sure that amount of caffeine isn’t too good for your body.
5. Hardcore Tea Enthusiast
6. The Free Loader
Starbucks employees definitely spit in every free cup of water people get from there.
— satan’s girl scout (@faack_yew) April 17, 2015
“Just a Venti water for me!” Nope, if you wanted free water you should’ve just filled up at a water fountain.
7. Fake Name Abuser
*orders water for Voldemort at Starbucks* Starbucks employee: “Water for, He Who Must Not Be Named!” pic.twitter.com/o1nobEJ23Z
— Ryan Brooks (@That_Brooks_Kid) October 22, 2013
When you hear the barista call out, “A caramel frappe for He Who Must Not Be Named,” you’re probably less than 0% amused.
8. “Secret Menu” Hacker
When white girls find out there’s a secret Starbucks menu.. pic.twitter.com/eAqntox1ho
— Brock Dodd (@BrockDodd) March 29, 2015
Like the Crazy Customizer, this person prides themselves on knowing the entire Starbucks “secret menu” and exploiting that knowledge. Aka they take a basic drink and annoy the heck out of everyone by making it a Butterbeer latte or something.
9. The Pretend Dieter
“Can I have a Venti non-fat frappe with sugar-free syrup, extra whipped cream and extra chocolate sauce?”
Why even pretend you want to be healthy when you’re going to add a bunch of whipped cream on top? There’s no such thing as a healthy Starbucks drink, especially not a frappe. Go big or go home, seriously.
Looking for something else to fuel your Starbucks addiction? Look no further: