Congratulations, you have survived Sparty 2k16. Regardless of whether you drank Natty Light or stepped it up with some dope mixed drinks, it never hurts to start planning ahead for next year. This quiz will provide you with the limitless knowledge to make your next Sparty even better.
If you are currently still suffering the consequences of your actions and are sad that the Shenanigans food truck isn’t around 24/7, you should try to whip up this breakfast quesadilla.
(Disclaimer: Drink responsibly, this is not a factual article)
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PBR
Appropriate white culture.
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Absinthe
See life as Picasso envisioned it.
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Tequila
¿Donde esta mi ropa?
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Vodka
What else would you expect?
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Jägermeister
Letzgittblitzt
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The Black Rose
2oz French vermouth, 1oz blackberry cordial, 1tsp blackberry syrup, only served in a crystal glass. Remind all the yanks you’re classier than them (or chug champagne, whatever floats your boat).
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Sangria
In vino veritas
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Skip the Alcohol
I think we all know a superior local, all natural, bio-degradable substance.
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Ethanol
Good for renewable energy, better for getting shwasted.
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Natty Light
What you have to drink when Chad didn’t cough up his beer money.
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Colt 45
Programmer in the streets, hacker in the sheets.
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Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel
You're all going to be lawyers or doctors. You can afford it.
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Ramos Gin Fizz
Just don’t put any bottle caps in your mouth. You don’t want to end up like Tennessee Williams.
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Rolling Rock
More drinking=less driving=fewer emissions, it's only logical.
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Frat Punch
“You know… we all make mistakes when we’re young. These photos should not shake the faith you’ve put in me as your Senator.”
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Franzia
Study the psychological effects of drinking wine straight from a plastic bag.
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Wine
If alcohol is allowed within the religion, I guarantee they've been drinking wine for centuries.
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Gargle Blaster
The book "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe" says that this drink is akin to "having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick".
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Whatever Your Friend is Holding
Argue that their drink isn’t really theirs. Argue the validity of possession. Steal their drink while they’re confused. Repeat as necessary.
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Grape Juice You Left in the Fridge Too Long
Just like in olden times.
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A Handel
Get it...Punny, right?
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Four Loko (Any Flavor Besides Fruit Punch)
You know, because numbers and stuff?
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Water
We're lucky enough to have unlimited access to water (unlike lots of countries), so stay hydrated so that you can stay conscious and keep spartying.
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Moonshine
Because Shakerag Hollow and ‘Murrica.
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A Delicious Progressive Cocktail
Or anything you want, because people should respect your personal choices.
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Wine Coolers
Safe bet you have rehearsal tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that (and so on into eternity), remember that.