You can’t compare apples to oranges, because oranges are obviously better. They are an appealing assemblage of aromatically pleasing zest and spiritually uplifting tang that Gandhi swears by. Their colour is the happiest in the world — just ask Frank Sinatra. And their uniqueness is epitomized by their suffix that has popularized the word door-hinge but flummoxed rappers and rhymers.
So, stop eating apples and blackberries that are already spoiled by corporations, stop slipping on bananas, and stop eating tomatoes that should not even be classified as a fruit. Let’s try to enjoy the unsullied orange before the next tech company devours its fruitfulness. Oranges are good vibes, and here are some reasons why.
1. They go so well with chocolate.
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“Whack and unwrap” for twenty segments in heaven. Shoutout to Terry — whoever you are, bless your soul.
2. They have a calm and refreshing smell said to reduce stress.
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Authentic aromatherapy for when your scented candles can’t handle your stress. Inhale and exhale #zen.
3. You can be creative with how you use your oranges ( garnishing, zesting, juicing, supreming, charring, etc.).
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For when you need to get your juices flowing. Even just staring at an orange sparks creativity.
4. They quench your thirst.
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Change the lemonade stand game and offer your neighbourhood joggers some ice cold, freshly-squeezed orange juice for 25 cents.
5. You can spread the happiness and give a segment to ten of your best friends.
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Here you go: one for you, and for you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and me. That’s enough for Jon, Kate, and the plus eight.
6. They are immunity builders and wrinkle preventers, as they are loaded with vitamin C.
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When lip chap can’t solve all your problems and you have become immune to Emergen-C, try an orange and you’ll C sun-kissed skin.
7.They can be tasted as a drink, in segments, peeled, or unpeeled — any way you like it.
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8 am: orange juice
12 pm: peeled orange
10 pm: tequila sunrise
Repeat. Vibes all day.
8. They’re the ultimate winter pick-me-up.
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Winter blues, orange szn. Turn your winter into a season of happiness.
9. They are mood boosters because of #endorphins.
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Even when you have an exam the next day — trust me, they are a good luck snack.
10. Once you peel an orange, you can awaken the senses of an entire room and make everyone happy.
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How can this not make you happy?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?