When you see a leftover fruit plate, what is remaining? Honeydew. When you try to be healthy and order a fruit plate, which fruit has seemingly taken it over? Honeydew. It seems as though the tyranny of all bad fruit salads stem from the slimy, green flavorless Cucumis melo.
Photo by Juliet Paterek
In 2012, according to the United States Department of Agriculture, Americans consumed five pounds of cantaloupe for every pound of honeydew. Therefore, most Americans prefer cantaloupe to honeydew, even though it’s 50% more expensive.
So why do restaurants keep serving us honeydew? It’s cheap and supposedly adds color. If anything − I’ll admit that honeydew adds minimal color to my fruit plate − but still, I’m with Jimmy Fallon on this one, honeydEW.
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Last Friday, I was reminded of my hatred for honeydew. Having arrived late for brunch at my sorority house, I walked in to find this sitting on the table…
Photo by Juliet Paterek
Yes, the only fruit left was honeydew. Imagine my disappointment.
Is it too much to ask for some fresh, juicy fruit?
Here are 5 reasons why honeydew is the absolute worst fruit:
1. It’s tasteless.
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It tastes like green cardboard. Need I say more?
2. It has a weird texture and scary, yellow teeth.
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If your first thought of honeydew doesn’t make you cringe, here’s a picture of its scary, yellow teeth. Yup, those creepy teeth are honeydew seeds…
Honeydew’s high water content makes its texture supa weird. This is probably because most honeydew is never ripe.
Unless you live in Cali, a ripe honeydew before August or after October is as rare as an aurora borealis. Since ripe ones are fragile and hard to ship, the majority of honeydew sold is unripe.
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3. It doesn’t add that much color.
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Honeydew is essentially the equivalent of a pale person wishing they were tan. It’s not as vibrantly green as its other green fruit counterparts, like green grapes or kiwi.
4. It’s a filler fruit.
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I would equate honeydew to the bed of lettuce next to your hamburger. It’s a cheap way to make the plate look prettier, while still being technically edible.
The lettuce may even make this cat look cute − but once again, lettuce (like honeydew) is completely unnecessary.
5. There are so many other ways to get our “greens.”
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Since we were little, we have been taught two things: (1) “the more color on your plate, the healthier it is for you” and (2) “you should always eat your greens.”
Although these old adages are true, there are many other ways to make your plate more colorful and to ensure that you get “your greens” aside from honeydew.
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If you want your plate to have green fruit, check out some of these green fruit options. And don’t forget about getting “your greens” by eating green vegetables. Green veggies essentially consume most of the vegetable food group within our basic nutrition plate.
Oh, yeah…update on that food pyramid: it was replaced by the food plate. If you want to know why, The New York Times will explain.
Still not convinced? Please watch the video below and hop onto the anti-honeydew bandwagon today: