Whether you’ve been following the election closely or the only knowledge you have is from the jokes you’ve seen on social media and SNL, you know that the 2016 election is quickly coming to an end.
Pretty soon, the USA will be forced to kick Obama out of the White House and move either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton (or a third party, you never know) into the Oval office. Even with the final day approaching to decide our fate, it’s hard to choose which controversial candidate to vote for.
We’re all hoping some miracle happens and Obama can stay for four more years or Beyoncé will enter the election and beat them both. US citizens are going to extremes to avoid this election—some have even threatened to cross borders just to get away from living with either candidate representing our country.
So, in honor of this, here are some pretty gross foods we would rather eat than vote for Trump or Clinton in this year’s election.
“Patty”
As much as I would love to try a fresh Krabby Patty, I would accept the nasty patty that Spongebob falls in love with. It’s covered in mold, seaweed, barnacles and whatever else you find in a pineapple under the sea. They would all be worth the risk if it meant voting for someone else.
Monica’s Cheesecake
Rachel and Chandler drop Monica’s cheesecake, but it was so good they decided to eat it off the floor of their hallway. They tried to avoid the parts that made direct contact, but eating anything off the ground in that building has to have some major germs on it. If it meant getting a new ballot, I’d eat it off the street in front of Central Perk.
Captain Crunch Sandwich
This Breakfast Club original was created by the “recluse” of the unlikely group. After she throws the mystery meat at a statue, pixie sticks are dumped onto two slices of buttered bread, then a nice heap of Captain Crunch is smashed on top for some texture. As rough as that sounds, it’s still more appealing than the presidential candidates.
Minny’s Chocolate Pie
Everyone’s heard of the shocking scene from The Help where Minny bakes her own sh*t into pie as a gift to her racist employer. Minny’s cooking skills were so good she didn’t even notice the special ingredient until her second slice. Sending her wise words, and maybe a pie, to the next resident of the White House.
Mrs. Trunchbull’s Cake
At first, the layered chocolate cake resembles Portillo’s and it makes your mouth water. But, after watching Bruce make his way through three pieces, the mouthwatering turns to nausea. Plus, seeing Mrs. Trunchbull’s chef carry out the massive cake raised some serious questions about the health standards in that kitchen.
Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans
Harry and Ron spend their first trip to Hogwarts eating most of the candy from the Trolley. These jellybeans are a risky move because you could get lucky with strawberry or marshmallow, or you could end up eating beans filled with earwax or belly button lint.
Sugar Free Haribo Gummy Bears
These sugar-free bears have quite the reputation on Amazon reviews. One user refers to it as the “gummy bear cleanse” because of the effect a small handful can have on your body.
These little guys wreak havoc on your intestines and force you to live in the bathroom for about 24 hours. Another user refers to her experience as something “beyond her worst nightmare,” kind of like how this election is going to turn out.
Thankfully, this election will be over soon and we can go back to eating foods we actually enjoy.