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Haggis with a CC license
Haggis with a CC license
Lifestyle

Your Worst Final Exams As Disgusting Foods

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at UFL chapter.

Finals are only a few weeks and mental breakdowns away. Excited for those all-nighters and dinners of Doritos and sour Skittles? Combing through the shady side of the Internet and my grandmother’s recipes, I found a few disgusting foods that match the cringe level of your exams. But don’t worry—even if you fail, your professor won’t force you to eat these taste bud travesties. 

Calculus II

Who would’ve thought Spam and tequila go together? Apparently, hipsters in London bars think so. Introduced in 2016, this Korean Spam Cocktail is a mixture of mezcal, agave nectar, lime, pineapple, and Spam. This beefy, alcoholic hell is reminiscent of the Taylor series, double integrals, and trig sub of calculus two.

Introduction To Financial Accounting

File:Haggis with a CC license.jpg
Image from WikiCommons

Bonds, accumulated depreciation, and accrual accounting remind me of a sheep’s stomach. Haggis is a traditional Scottish dish of sheep stomach, lamb lungs and heart, and fixings (i.e. onions, oatmeal). Although unappealing to our American palates, eating these kilted innards is probably better than studying marketable securities.

Physics With Calc I

F=ma smells like blended sardines and tastes like fish scales. Primal Sardine Smoothies are tasty drippings of raw sardines, tequila, onion, red beets, and celery. Their fishy scent will vomit Newton’s laws, vectors, and wave motion right out of your mouth.

Statics

File:Inside a Balut - Embryo and Yolk.jpg
Image from WikiCommons

The boiled embryos of Asian ducks are a delicious reminder of free body diagrams. Balut is a Filipino staple where creamy beaks and skins are considered a delicacy. An egg is incubated in the ground for a few weeks until the embryo is fermented to an underdeveloped goo. If you’re in Statics, hopefully you already dug the hole to bury your grade months ago…

Business Finance

Eating tuna eyeballs might be disgusting, but at least that pain is temporary compared to the nausea of discount rates and capitalization models. Oozing with fat, muscles, and blood, the fish eyes are on the same level as binomial option pricing and WACC.

Chemistry I and II

File:Preparing Chicken Liver 01.JPG
Image from WikiCommons

My mom always complained about my grandma’s calf liver and apples, but she never grappled with stoichiometry and covalent bonding at university. Atoms and molecules might sound trendy in EDM songs, but they are hell’s muse when on a Scantron. 

Sufficiently grossed out? Hopefully these tummy churners will distract you from tears, all-nighters and professor “assholery.” Happy Finals Week! 

Accounting graduate from the University of Florida | Former Managing Editor for Spoon UF and Community Support Specialist for Spoon HQ