This is the story of the time I pregamed with only alcoholic popsicles and got the kind of sappy, nostalgic drunk I haven’t experienced since my high school graduation dinner. Am I proud? No. Would I do this again? Absolutely.
Going into this challenge, my main goal was to spice up an activity that usually just involves me drinking vodka with the intensity of someone who has just found water after trekking the Sahara Desert for two weeks. Needless to say, both I and my liver were looking forward to a change in the routine.
Please drink responsibly. Spoon University does not support binge drinking.
First things first, I would need to make some alcoholic popsicles. So, the day before I was planning to go out, I whipped up three different recipes and then stuck them in the freezer overnight.
1. Peach Sangria Pops
2. Blueberry-Rosé Lemonade Ice Pops
3. Vodka + Sour Peach Pops
The last recipe actually called for gummy bears to be added, and I would like to say that my twist (using sour peaches instead) was a groundbreaking culinary risk, but the truth is that the store I went to was out of gummy bears and I was too lazy to go to another one. The sour peaches were still delicious though, so maybe I’m onto something and my lifelong dream of becoming a culinary prodigy will finally come true. “Mama I made it,” I’ll say as I walk into my Ellen interview.
Now for the story…
The first couple alcoholic popsicles went down easily due to their refreshing and sweet taste. The additional ingredients and the chill of the popsicle worked to mask the wince-inducing parts of the alcohol, but these took longer to consume than your usual cocktail. However, as my mother said when I told her what I was doing, slowing down your alcoholic consumption is a good thing and, “please do this more if it means you’ll stop puking in the flower pots on our front steps.”
The first snag hit when it became clear that certain alcohols take longer to freeze than others and I had not accounted for this. I could almost see my eighth grade science teacher shaking his head at me with that “did you even listen to a single thing I said” look on his face as I came to this realization. However, mama didn’t raise no quitter! So I decided to use my resources to their full potential and scoop the semi-frozen alcohol directly into my mouth instead.
Upon getting into our Uber, I was feeling that perfect medium between tipsy and drunk, and was riding a high from all the compliments I had gotten on my alcoholic popsicles at the pre.
I’m not sure if it was because I was drunk off of one of my favorite childhood snacks, but as the night went on, it seemed like I was headed straight down memory lane.
I had inadvertently decided to do this challenge in one of those first few weeks of summer when everyone gets home from university and every conversation seems to be about all the shenanigans you got up to in high school. After having about seven too many identical conversations about how my semester went and running into every ex-boyfriend I’ve ever had, the night hit a high point.
By high point, I mean I spent the next half hour mourning the loss of my “one true love” after spotting him across the epilepsy-inducing dance floor. By one true love, I mean a guy I hadn’t seen since the sixth grade who had gone to university awkward and nerdy, and returned 6’2″ and muscley.
After quickly recovering from my broken heart, I decided to call it a night and piled into a cab with my friends, hitting our favorite high school go-to pizza joint on the way home.
Overall, the night was a wild ride, but I’d say that the alcoholic popsicles were a success. They had all the elements of a good cocktail while being an awesome point of conversation at any pregame. About six alcoholic popsicles got me to a perfect level of pre-bar drunk, but surprisingly, they didn’t give me a wicked sugar headache. I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking to add some extra fun into their usual drinking routine, but as always, drink responsibly and don’t let your friends drunk text their exes.
Happy pregaming!
Please drink responsibly: This author attends college in Canada where the drinking age is 18. Spoon University does not support underage drinking. Sorry Americans under 21, you’re going to have to wait to try these pops.