Yes, that dreaded time of year has come when we Jews must hand over our White Dog french toast and Insomnia Cookies and pick up that piece of cardboard known as matzah. Personally (and I know for a fact that I’m not the only one), I don’t like matzah. It’s dry and bland. So, is it really possible to last a full week in college without eating any matzah, wheat, barley, oats, rye and spelt? I believe it is, not to mention that avoiding these items will be super cleansing for your body! Here’s how:
1. Replace your waffles and pancakes with a Greek yogurt and eggs. Go to Bridge Cafe and get an omelet. Still hungry? Get a fruit cup. You can even get a fruit smoothie from either Pottruck or the fruit food truck on Spruce.
2. Replace your usual sandwich or pizza with a juicy hamburger (minus the bun) from either Bobby’s Burger Palace or City Tap House. You can load it up with caramelized onions, mushrooms, pickles, whatever you like. Just no bread or cheese. You can even eat fries. That’s right, they’re kosher for Passover!
3. In the mood for some Asian food? Get the chicken teriyaki and start with the chicken lettuce wraps from Pod.
4. How about fish? Go to Hummus and get the salmon with a side of and tomatoes and cucumbers.
5. Are you starving and craving a giant salad? Go to Greek Lady. You can’t eat pita but no one is stopping you from eating the tahini.
6. Want something light? Go to Fresh Grocer and pick up sliced deli turkey, mayonnaise, and romaine lettuce and make your own lettuce wraps. You can replace the turkey with tuna if you would like.
7. Craving dessert? Go to Kiwi or Saxby’s and get any flavor you’d like and top it off with chocolate chips! Just remember: no cookie dough.
8. Lastly, if you feel you must resort to Matzah, put some cream cheese and lox on it! If you’re not a lox fan, try some jelly instead
If you stick to these guidelines, you will surely last through the week of what seems to be hell. Good luck and chag sameach!
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