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Lifestyle

The Best and Worst Times To Get Tipsy

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at U Mich chapter.

As much as frat boys may not want to admit it, it’s not really socially acceptable  to get belligerently intoxicated before or while you do everything. Like most things, there is a proper time and a place. But at our age it may be sort of hard to tell when and where that is, so we decided to make it easier to tell you when to start chugging and when to calmly sip a single glass of wine, if that.

The night before a big exam:
Obviously not. What’s the point of spending hours in the stacks slaving away if you’re going to essentially erase it all? Taking an exam hungover is the worst (trust me, I learned the hard way).

During a family function like a wedding or Bar Mitzvah:
Ohhh yeah. How else are you going to bear long speeches from your not-that-funny uncle and watch your own ugly face appear on a big screen during the montage? Didn’t you listen to Will.I.Am? “Fill up my cup (DRANK!), Mazel Tov! (L’chaim!)”

Football tailgates during Parent’s Weekend:

Drunk

Gif courtesy of Thought Catalog

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Your parents better be going shot for shot with you all day long. I once saw a mom bring a personal fifth of vodka to a frat party. Now that’s dedication!

Thanksgiving at your significant others’:
Depending on how awesome or terrible this lucky lad or lady’s ‘rents are, the real question is are you busting open a bottle of Wild Turkey together or quietly inebriating yourself into politeness in the bathroom and praying they respect a good puke and rally? Regardless, it’s totally cool to be drunk. The Pilgrims didn’t stop at Plymouth Rock because they ran out of sparkling cider.

At something related to your job or internship:

Drunk

Gif courtesy of celerydoor.wordpress.com

Unless you work for two 23-year-old former srat stars, your bosses prob won’t be impressed with your ability to pound shots and then confess that you exaggerated about being proficient in Photoshop on your resume. If there are clients at the event, be double careful ‘cause if you lose the boss any money, consider yourself royally screwed.
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On a first date:
I know your instinct is to get wasted to make sure it’s not awkward, especially if the date is “to go for drinks” but proceed with caution. If you have any actual interest in the person, getting legitimately drunk might set the standard that you can’t hang out sober, and you’ll also be a little too honest about your history of exes.

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