I doubt you’re considering nutritional value when you down a couple shots of Bacardi. But, for the curious, you might want things put into perspective. For all you inquisitive drinkers, I put together a visual of what 500 calories of your favorite alcohol really looks like.
Bud Light: 54.5 fl oz/About 4.5 Cans
Let’s start with what you’ll find most common at your tailgates, bars, and parties—beer. Bud Light averages about 110 calories per 12 oz can or bottle, and most beer will play in this ballpark. So, you can have a little over 4.5 cans for your 500 calories.
Merlot: 20.5 fl oz
Your average Merlot will hit the big 500 at about 20.5 fl oz, which is around 3.4 glasses—pretty solid, if you ask me, because that’s like, half of the bottle. Not that I’m suggesting you drink half a bottle of wine tonight. I’m just *cough* stating facts *cough cough*.
Riesling: 20.8 fl oz
White wine comes in at slightly fewer calories, however, they also tend to be less alcoholic. But, hey, wine is wine. As an example, Relax Riesling comes in at about 120 calories per 5 fl oz. So you can drink a touch over four glasses of your average bottle of Riesling to hit your 500 calories.
Smirnoff Vodka (And Most Straight Liquors): 7.5 fl oz/About 5 Shots
While this particular analysis regards Smirnoff, the rule of thumb applies to most hard liquors—five shots is about 500 cals. For most people, five shots will do the trick, so you probably don’t have to worry too much when drinking things straight. However, the higher the alcohol proof, the higher the number of calories. For example, here are two notable exceptions to the five shot rule:
Everclear: 2.63 fl oz/1.5 Shots
Okay, first of all, if you’re drinking Everclear, you’re probably not all too concerned for your health, or anything, for that matter. Still, you can top that first death-bomb of a shot with another halfsie before you hit the 500 mark. Most likely, you’ll hit the floor after that, so like, just don’t do it.
Bacardi 151: 4.1 fl oz/2.7 Shots
Slightly better than Everclear, 151 hits the mark at 4.1 oz, or a little more than 2.5 shots. But, in all honesty, a shot of this will hit you like a punch to the throat, so maybe it’s cool to just stop there. Though if you wanna #throwback, turn up the song “Caribou Lou,” it’s like, the ultimate party favor, ya know?
Four Loko: 18 fl oz/1.5 Cans
I just feel like no one has fond memories of these things? Like, you can drink just around a can and a half for 500 calories, but which of the flavors you’d actually be willing to drink that much of is beyond me. But, hey, to each their own.
Rum and Diet Coke: 31.5 fl oz
This is probably one of the safest ways to make alcohol taste less like detergent while still keeping the calorie count low. You can have 31.5 fl oz of this bad boy for 500 calories (five shots mixed with two cans of Diet Coke), but you’ll probably also burp up rummy bubbles from all the fizz, so be warned.
Jack and Coke: 22.5 fl oz
Ah, a classic go-to at most bars and parties. If you mix one and a half cans of Coke with three shots, you can make about two glasses. You can drink more if you use Diet Coke, but if you use classic Coke, you’re avoiding all the harmful effects of diet soda, so maybe it’s not the worst option. You have to pick your battles, love.
Cranberry Vodka: 20.5 fl oz
Fun, while still getting the job done, you can have 20.5 fl oz of Cranberry Vodka if you make it with 16 fl oz of juice and three shots of liquor. Plus, cranberry juice is like, kinda healthy, so, you’re def making it up to your body by balancing the abundance of alcohol with nutrients.
Gin and Tonic: 15.75 fl oz
For around two glasses, you can be a robed, rich old man sitting by the fireside, sipping away at your Gin and Tonic while recalling your wild youth—all for around 500 calories. You can do this by mixing 12 fl oz of tonic water and about 2.5 shots (about one shot per glass, topped off with tonic). Do old rich men count cals? Probs not, but I’ll assume you have a few more years before passing into that stage of life.
Martini: 6.7 fl oz
I picture mild-aged women carrying some major sh*t on their shoulders when someone says Martini. Mix one shot of vermouth and four shots of gin, and you can be this badass and still stay at 500 calories. Also, these things are hella strong because they’re mostly straight up gin or vodka, so you’ll be able to ease your woes while you sip.
Mojito: 13 fl oz
Mojitos (made with 4 shots rum, mint leaves, lime, 7oz zero-calorie soda water, and 5.5 tsp of sugar) to hit just under the 500 target. Plus you’re getting minty greens, aka salad, aka you’re being an A+ adult right now. Ya know, until you start singing karaoke on the bar tables, but that’s just because you’re a star singer and the people need to know, amirite?
Cosmopolitan: 8 fl oz
Basically giving a lil sumthin’ to your Cranberry Vodka will give you about 2.5 of these for 500 calories, because you generally drink fancy drinks out of fancy, smaller cups. Is the aesthetic worth it? Like, probably? Or you can be efficient and just down the shot of vodka. Screw fanciness.
SkinnyGirl Margarita: 25 fl oz
A personal favorite of mine, SkinnyGirl produces quality alcohol without the added guilt—because, let’s be real, after the night, you’ll probably feel guilty about some of those slurred text messages, no need to add calories to the list. This Margarita will last around 5 glasses before it hits the 500 calories.
Screwdriver: 12 fl oz
Sure, a mixed drink will make you forget you’re drinking alcohol, but they usually come with a helluva lot of calories. A perfect example? Screwdrivers (4 oz vodka, 8 oz orange juice). But, hey, I mean you’re getting a lot of vitamin C from all the OJ in this one, so that’s kinda a plus. Just be careful of the sugar rush.
Thoughts
Like most good things in life, alcohol comes at a price—calories, and the hangover. But, hey, odds are you’re gonna burn those 500 calories doing something dumb, like running down the street screaming into the night, so it’s worth it.