If you’re from Philadelphia, currently live in Philadelphia, or have a sense of humor, chances are you love the show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. In fact, don’t you sorta wish the infamous Paddy’s Pub actually existed? Don’t you ever think about what would be on their menu? (Or is that just me?)
Well, if you’re not like me and don’t think about what would be on their menu, don’t worry about it; simply because after thinking hard I’ve determined the top seven menu items that you would find if you were ever able to sit in the dark and dreary depths of Paddy’s Pub.
Rum Ham
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A big, sweet spiral ham soaked in Paddy’s Pub’s finest rum overnight, then topped with two pineapple slices and a cherry in the middle. Frank Reynold’s delicacy is served best at room temperature, as it allows you to take it on the go whenever, wherever, so you can eat your protein all while getting drunk at the same time.
Milk Steak
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Only the best at Paddy’s Pub, which means for the highest quality milk steak boiled over hard with a side of the finest raw jelly beans Philadelphia has to offer. Prepared by the amateur chef Charlie Kelly himself, this dish is best served piping hot from the kitchen that would most likely fail a health inspection.
Luckily, you can prepare this dish yourself at home, but it just won’t be the same compared to Charlie preparing it for you.
Denim Chicken
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A rotisserie chicken, in a pair of tiny denim jeans, what could be cuter? Bless Charlie and his vivid imagination, and props to the gang for the A+ presentation. Best served hot in real denim.
Bagged Spaghetti
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The spaghetti policy of Paddy’s is simple: not served on a plate, not served on a bowl, but simply served in a zip-lock bag for your on-the-go needs. You can eat it hot, cold, or in-between, just as long as you have your bag of spaghetti (and a fork, maybe).
Wine in a Can
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Boxed wine decanted into an empty can of cola. What could be better? While everyone thinks you’re sippin’ on some soda, you’re really just enjoying the finest boxed wine Paddy’s has to offer.
Riot Punch
Gif courtesy of giphy.com
For all the sports fans out there who either wanna pregame, feel like a hero, or get lost after a horrible loss, head over to Paddy’s for some riot punch (which is simply grain alcohol with any blue juice that’s nearby). Sold by the gallon, this Paddy’s favorite is sure to make your mood turn around.
Warning: Don’t wear a green morph suit like Charlie did, you’ll regret it…even if you feel like a superhero.
Cottage Cheese
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That enticing bowl of white is cottage cheese, like, from a cottage. Whose cottage did it come from? We may never know. But, what we do know is Paddy’s likes cottage cheese, and lot’s of it; specifically being served in a big bowl with several different foods to dip into it.
By now, you’re probably thinking about the hilarity of all these great episodes. So by all means, open up Netflix, grab a snack, and watch It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia all day long.