All throughout time, women have been compared to fruit (and other stupid objects). You’re considered a pear if you’re more petite on top and curvier on bottom. You’re an apple if you have a small frame on top and bottom, but you’re more curvy in your stomach area. You’re an upside down ice cream cone if you have broad shoulders but are more narrow on your lower half.
I think all of us can admit that we have a “desired” shape, but being compared to a fruit is not always ideal. In fact, it’s quite degrading. Who wants to say, “I have a strawberry figure.” First of all, what the hell is that? Second of all, who cares?
While women often put themselves into these categories, men can be to blame for it too. We all have that image in our heads of a man making the hour glass shape when referring to a woman’s body. To even the playing field a bit, I have decided to take “typical” male bodies and compare them to vegetables. Let us know how it feels, guys.
The “Swimmer” – Broccoli
Photos courtesy of onlineathens.com & wikipedia.org
Just like broccoli, the male swimmer body has a wide upper torso. The swimmer is not completely skinny and thin on his lower torso, which is comparable to a broccoli stalk. I mean what does a swimmer REALLY eat to stay in that great of shape? Check it out here.
The “Football Player” or the “Fullback” – Eggplant
Photos courtesy of espn.go.com & kimmelorchard.org
Football players, particularly the fullback position, can be HUGE. Yeah, they have muscle, but would YOU want to face one of those guys? I didn’t think so. The football player’s body is comparable to an eggplant. They’re still in shape, but they are just large people.
The “Intellectual” – Celery
Photos courtesy of zimbio.com & adambailey20.blogspot.com
Typically, intellectual people are imaged as being tall and stalky. There’s nothing wrong with that. When I picture this type of person, I picture a tall guy with lanky limbs, or a piece of celery. Don’t get me wrong, this is not an insult. Celery can be strong, and it’s liked by a lot of people. If you’re a celery stalk, embrace it.
The “Athlete” or “Bodybuilder” – Corn
Photos courtesy of pinterest.com & creepypasta.wikia.com
Athletes and bodybuilders have abs, and usually pretty great ones. They also have muscles all over their bodies. That is why the athlete/bodybuilder is considered to be the corn on the cob of male body types.
The “Beer Belly” – Butternut Squash
Photos courtesy of telegraph.co.uk & dietsinreview.com
While this photo is a pre-slimmed down picture of Seth Rogen, he did have a bit of gut going on. We all have the “Frat Daddy” friend with the “Dad Bod” who should probably lay off the beer. But, have you ever looked at a guy with a dad bod? What did they remind you of? They reminded me of a butternut squash. People like butternut squash, but they do have a belly on them. If you want your own dad bob, you can get yours like this.
The “Guy That Skips Leg Day” – Mushroom
Photos courtesy of tomandlorenzo.com & nobacks.com
A mushroom, self-explanatory.
“Skinny” – Asparagus/Green Beans
Photos courtesy of bonappetit.com, like success.com, & cliparthut.com
The guy who doesn’t work out and actually probably doesn’t eat a whole lot. Not many, if any at all, fall into this category, also known as the green bean or asparagus category.
The “Average Joe” – Yellow Squash
Photos courtesy of starpulse.com & cookingplanit.com
What about your average, normal guy? He works out, but he doesn’t have visible bulging muscles. He drinks beer, but also indulges in water. He loves to be a nerd, but also is a complete extrovert. This is your average, everyday yellow squash. This fella is firm, but not too showy with his muscles. He’s cool and calm, but ready to party at a moments notice.
So, guys, how does it feel to be put into a defining category? Do you feel that you might not actually fit into one of this categories? Be careful the next time you compare a girl to piece of fruit, because she might not actually fit into one of those categories either. So just accept your differences and love yoself.