Ah, Dairy Queen Blizzards. Not only do these treats taste amazing, but they also magically defy gravity (OK, there’s a scientific explanation, but I prefer to believe it’s magic). Growing up, no trip to the mall was complete without my best friend and I chowing down on some Blizzards. Although many of my favorite flavors have been discontinued since then (RIP Hawaiian Blizzard), there’s still a wide range of flavors to choose from, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. The solution? Order your Dairy Queen Blizzard based on your zodiac sign. It’s simple, fast, and 100 percent gives you an excuse to go to DQ.
Aquarius: Turtle Pecan Cluster
Just like a Turtle Pecan Cluster Blizzard, you’re a little bit nutty. You have some quirky habits like rollerblading to class, exercising in heels, or drizzling olive oil on your ice cream. But hey, what’s life without doing what you love? You do your own thing, and your friends admire you for it.
Pisces: Royal Ultimate Choco Brownie
If you were to order a Dairy Queen blizzard based on your zodiac sign, it would be this Royal Ultimate Choco Brownie Blizzard Treat (try saying that 10 times fast). The double chocolate will appeal to your sensitive side, while the gooey fudge filling will impress the inner artist in you. Even Picasso would be happy with this drool-worthy creation.
Aries: New York Cheesecake
As an Aries, you’re always up to try something new. Skiing in a bikini? Sure. Skydiving blindfolded? Absolutely. This Royal New York Cheesecake Blizzard? You’re so in. The idea of cheesecake and ice cream together might weird some people out, but you’re up for the challenge.
Taurus: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Everyone knows that a Taurus is chilled out and likes to keep things simple. The next time that you’re craving DQ, treat yourself to something that suits your honest personality. You can’t go wrong with a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard; with only two ingredients (cookie dough + vanilla ice cream), it’s as straightforward as you are.
Gemini: Banana Split
Just like a Banana Split Blizzard, you have a bit of a split personality. You might be a PR major that’s a total introvert, or a pre-Med student that lives for cake (not exactly good for the body, but it’s good for the heart, amirite?). You’re a walking contradiction, but hey, that just makes you one of a kind.
Cancer: Chocolate Xtreme
As a Cancer, it takes a lot out of you to be constantly socializing, and some nights you want to just chill in your pajamas with Netflix. On those nights, treat yourself to this Chocolate Xtreme Blizzard. Its chewy brownie pieces and chocolate soft serve are exactly the type of comfort food that you love.
Leo: Oreo Cookies
Just like a classic Oreo Cookies Blizzard, you’re a fan favorite. Leos are known for being popular and outgoing; as Kesha would say, the party don’t start ’til you walk in. If you’re ordering a Dairy Queen blizzard based on your zodiac sign, you can’t go wrong with this crowd-pleaser.
Virgo: Salted Caramel Truffle
Everyone knows that Virgos can be a bit #extra, just like this Salted Caramel Truffle Blizzard. With buttery toffee chunks, cocoa pieces, and a chocolate base, this blizzard puts just as much effort into its appearance as you do. Now if only you could bedazzle the cup for your Insta story.
Libra: Blizzard of the Month
As an adventurous Libra, you have a hard time sticking to one thing. Luckily, Dairy Queen has a “Blizzard of the Month,” so you’ll never run out of new things to try. This March, DQ is serving up a Mint Oreo Blizzard, but past flavors have included Pumpkin Pie and Candy Cane Chill.
Scorpio: Royal Reese’s Brownie
You know that part in “Mean Girls” where Damian says Gretchen Weiners’ hair is so big because it’s full of secrets? Yup, that’s you. Just like a Royal Reese’s Brownie Blizzard, you have a sweet exterior, but there’s a part of you that you keep hidden. Your friends have to work to get to know you.
Sagittarius: M&M Milk Chocolate Candies
If you were to order a Dairy Queen blizzard based on your zodiac sign, it would be this M&M’s Milk Chocolate Candies Blizzard. Like the vibrant M&M’s in this treat, you lead a life filled with color and excitement. Your room is filled with pictures of your trips to exotic places like Greece, and your favorite restaurant serves dishes that are hard to pronounce.
Capricorn: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
As a Capricorn, you’re hardworking and straight-up with people. You love surprises about as much as travelers love screaming babies on airplanes (hint: they don’t). The next time that you visit DQ, order a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard. It’s literally just Reese’s and vanilla soft serve, so you know exactly what you’re getting.
Dairy Queen might not be as trendy as the low-cal ice creams that everyone has been talking about recently, but it has a special place in my heart. After all, a good Blizzard with your best friend is always worth splurging for. You can catch me at the mall trying to convince DQ to make me a discontinued Hawaiian Blizzard.