It is now 2018, and being single still warrants comments like “oh, don’t worry, you’ll find someone,” or “maybe you should try Tinder,” or “oh, why are you still single?” as if it needs some sort of explanation. Well, I’m here to tell you that being single in college is the best.
No, really! Ignore all those Instagrams from your taken friends because you, my fellow single, has it the best right now. Let me tell you why, from someone who has been on both sides.
You are still figuring out who you are.
College is the time of your life where you’ll do the most self-growth. You’re still figuring out who you are and you can’t do that unless it’s just you, your dreams and your goals. When you’re in a relationship, you might change who you are to suit someone else’s preferences.
Nothing will ever hold you back.
It’s so nice not having to check in with someone else when making plans. You wanna go to the club with your girls? Go! Wanna go study abroad for a semester? Do it! Your time is all your own, you can do whatever you want without the whole nonsense of “but I’ll miss him” or “my boyfriend doesn’t want me to go out tonight.”
You can have as many flings as you want.
When you’re not in a committed exclusive relationship, the entire dating pool is yours! You can kiss as many hot strangers as you want. You can have as many flings with as many people as you want! You can go out and flirt with all the hotties, the possibilities are endless. You’re not exclusive, go crazy (or don’t, whatever floats your boat.)
You cultivate deeper friendships.
I can definitely say that my friendships have grown stronger since becoming single. You bond with your fellow single friends in a way you never have before as a person in a relationship. You have more time to tend to these friendships and you become each other’s main support system.
Focusing on yourself and school is better than focusing on why your boyfriend didn’t text you back.
All that energy those taken people spend on tending to relationships and stressing about them and making time for them…you don’t need that! This is the time to focus on you and on your schooling and when you graduate and you’re the most amazing version of yourself, you’ll be ready for the most amazing relationship.
You won’t experience self-doubt.
You’ll never have any “what-ifs” about college. You spent these years being selfish and single and you’ll never wonder what it would have been like to have those years to yourself. #NoRagrets.
This is the time to be selfish.
The whole point of college is to be selfish and just do what you want to do. You can’t be completely selfish when you’re tied down, so take this time to be absolutely 100% selfish! This is the only time in your life you’ll really be able to.
You learn how to be happy and alone.
There is so much value that comes from learning how to be alone and still be happy. A lot of people make their happiness rely on a relationship and that is a terrible idea. Once you learn how to be independent and happy even without a significant other, you’ll never rely on someone for your happiness. You are in complete control.
Everything is temporary.
In college, most things are temporary. Your living situation, your roommates, the guys you’re surrounded by, your town…nothing is permanent right now so just go with the flow! Being tied to someone else can be comforting, but it can also be limiting.
College relationships can be messy.
I’ve heard way too many stories of “he snapchats me but we don’t text,” “he asked me to ‘chill,’ what does that mean?” “we’re hooking up but does that mean he likes me?” Who has the time? It’s too messy. Wait till later when everyone has figured their sh*t out and knows what they want.
That relationship can wait.
I know this is not very uncommon (I can relate), but if you’re with someone who’s at a different school far away, and if you really think this relationship is worth it, it can wait. Take the time to truly find yourself and learn what you want and don’t want. If this is really the relationship for you, it will still be in 4 or 5 years and you won’t have any “what-ifs” looming.
You may never be this free again.
All in all, you probably won’t have this much freedom again. This is the perfect age and time in life to experience being single and see what the world has in store for you. Once you graduate and settle into the real world, you won’t have this type of careless freedom where you can party 3 nights a week and have all night adventures with your girlfriends. You’ll probably have more real ~responsibilities~ so this is the perfect time to be free.
College is a time to change and to mold yourself. Go to classes, get sleep, work out, take care of yourself and make the craziest memories. It’s true that you can’t love someone unless you love yourself so take these years to learn how to do that and you’ll have deeper, more authentic relationships in the future.
For now, go listen to “Single Ladies” or “Ridin Solo” and have some fun!