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What Seinfeld Characters Would Order For Dinner

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at PSU chapter.

Seinfeld isn’t really “a show about nothing.” It’s a show about food. Whether they’re at Monk’s Café, Kenny Rogers Roasters, or H&H Bagels, the cast is always chowing down.

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Gif courtesy of Buzzfeed

In honor of the show’s June 24th release on Hulu, here are some foods that each character would eat (and has eaten, to comedic effect) when dinner rolls around.

Elaine: Big Salad and Chocolate Babka

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Photo courtesy of rantlifestyle.com

George is right. No matter who she might hurt or what relationships she might end, Elaine’s gotta have the big salad (the satisfying one with cherry tomatoes the size of volleyballs). And probably on the run from George’s criticism, so she would absolutely be eating it to go. Obviously, she can’t order any soup, though – the Soup Nazi is probably still on the lookout for her.

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Gif courtesy of diehardnight.com

She can finish it off with some chocolate babka. Jerry won’t want any of that hair-tainted treat.

Jerry: Fusilli

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Photo courtesy of youtube.com

Jerry will likely forego his cereal addiction (he always has a thousand boxes, and he lives alone) for a special fusilli at a restaurant. Kramer, in a food art stage, once sculpted all his friends from pasta, and since Jerry’s a comedian, he made him from fu-“silly.” There is clearly no other menu option for this guy.

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Gif courtesy of Buzzfeed

Kramer: Muffin Tops, Fruit, and Chicken

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I have to say, Kramer’s idea to sell only the muffin tops is probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. After all, no one really like the stumps. He’ll definitely be chowing down on his dissected muffin any minute, with a side of fresh fruit (he’s a little obsessed).

He’s also a big fan of Kenny Rogers chicken, so he’ll probably throw that in as well.

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Photo courtesy of Pinterest

George: Marble Rye, Calzones, and a Garbage Eclair

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Photo courtesy of seinfeld-daily.tumblr.com

George will take a sandwich, thank you very much, on marble rye. If he can’t have a calzone, he might as well get his rye time. After all, he’s willing to gift it and steal for it, and apparently fish for it as well, to get it where it needs to go.

Maybe he’ll finish off his rye meal with an eclair (though hopefully not one he took from the garbage).

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Gif courtesy of Tumblr