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Lifestyle

FUNNY WATER: How Non-Carbonated Alcoholic Water is Bursting Seltzer’s Bubble

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at Northwestern chapter.

Picture this: you drink an alcoholic seltzer. Ten minutes later, you’re bloated, filled with bubbles and feeling dehydrated. You wish you had a can of FUNNY WATER.

Throughout his career in the music festival industry, FUNNY WATER co-founder PJ Loughran said he witnessed first hand the overconsumption of alcohol and dehydration commonplace in outdoor entertainment environments.

In 2020 Loughran joined forces with co-founder Jake Vogel and Northwestern alumna Erica Bank (Bienen ‘20) to create an alcoholic alternative to typical seltzer options – one that is easier to drink, hydrating and, best of all, non-carbonated.

Loughran, Vogel and Bank’s resulting FUNNY WATER boasts plenty of benefits. On top of improved hydration and its bloat-preventing lack of bubbles, the alcoholic “spa water” is naturally flavored, rich in antioxidants and electrolytes and only 80 calories per can.

Unlike the typical seltzer with an alcohol by volume (ABV) of 5%, FUNNY WATER fills a market void for non-carbonated alcoholic drinks with its 3.75% ABV. This percentage of alcohol allows drinkers to pace themselves more easily in comparison to other un-fizzy offerings such as wine; the next-lowest ABV for a non-carbonated beverage clocking in at around 14% ABV per glass.

“It’s a beverage you can consume and get a little buzzed from,” Bank said. “But you will still be able to spend time with your friends and socialize for longer.”

As far as taste goes, FUNNY WATER more than delivers. The natural flavors are not overbearingly sweet like sugar-filled seltzers, but add a hint of pleasant fruitiness Bank describes as, “very light.”

“It almost tastes like a fruit infused water,” Bank said of the brand’s Watermelon, Citrus and Cucumber-Mint flavors.

After trying the zero-sugar FUNNY WATER, I can attest to Bank’s sentiment. Each can features notes of their respective flavor, as if infused with fresh slices of fruit. Thanks to the subtlety and sans-carbonation, it is extremely easy to sip.

Drinking FUNNY WATER was overall a pleasant experience. I never felt bloated or sick from the beverage, nor was I left feeling parched, an uncommon characteristic for most alcoholic drinks.

If trying this anti-bloat, easy-to-drink, low-calorie beverage excites you too (and you’re of-age!) FUNNY WATER can be purchased online in variety packs of their three flavors. For those who prefer a dry lifestyle, the site also features merchandise — including t-shirts, backpacks and golf balls —with the company’s straight-faced droplet logo. 

As for the future of the brand, Bank suggests checking out their socials to stay in-the-know about exclusive flavors, fun marketing events and new ways to purchase the product.

While mainstream seltzers had their run in 2021, 2022 year is the year of self care and rejuvenation. Don’t compromise your gut for a good time, reach for FUNNY WATER. 

Sara Frank

Northwestern '23