Okay, I’m not gonna complain about it or anything but i’m kinda mad the rents wouldn’t buy me a plane ticket home for Easter. My parents have 10/10 forgotten about the struggles of cafeteria food because they’re leaving me at school for the holiday.
I get it, I’m a “college student” now, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy a nice home cooked meal and waking up to the smell of croissants baking in the oven. Instead I will be waking up to the sound of construction outside my dorm window. Although my FOMO has already started to kick in, I’m still going to manage to make this Easter my b*tch.
In trying to recreate the Easter from my childhood, I have narrowed down the most important Hallmark-esk activities nobody should live without (including your Jewish friends).
1. Brunch it up
This is not up for discussion, brunch is the best meal. No justification needed for ordering breakfast, lunch, or even better, both. I’m picturing something similar to the Last Supper; plenty to go around for all. This is also a perfect opportunity to dress yourself head to toe in pastels because your grandma is definitely the only one who thinks it looks cute.
2. Dranks
It’s the Lord’s day guys. Lets keep it classy. Stick to a mimosa with breakfast, or a glass of wine with dinner. Maybe one of each?
3. Decorate Easter Eggs:
This is where you can go a little PG-13 if you chose. A basket of Easter eggs also makes a great centerpiece for any cinderblock dorm.
4. Egg Hunt
Yes, I know. Another activity involving eggs. It’s Easter, get over it. It’s better to just pretend the Easter Bunny felt back for you and your friends stuck at school and made a quick visit to hid some eggs around your door’s hall. Hide 50 eggs around your hall, and fill them with loose change, chocolate, condoms, whatever you got lying around.
5. Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate
I’m only going to say this once: skip the gym and go to CVS and buy everything chocolate in sight. I’m talking bunnies, carrots, eggs, etc. If you’re behind on the freshman 15 now’s your chance to make up for it since there’s only a month left of school. Yeah, there might be some regrets on Monday, but you only Easter once a year.
6. Go to Church
Shoot! I almost forgot to mention that the best way to show the J-man some real TLC is to attend a mass service. It only takes one hour out of your day, and would make your momma very proud.
As much as I wish I could hug and kiss my dog, i’ll happily take a weekend of wining and dining with my friends. For all of you also staying on a college campus this Easter Sunday…make me proud.