College grocery shopping, a sort of adulthood right of passage. Once the automatic sliding doors open you are immersed into a whole new world full of busy adults, screaming infants, hungover college students, and the opportunity to spend way more than you intended. It all makes you feel like when you lost your mom in the store; frantic, confused, and hysterical.
1. You grab a cart and all of the wheels squeak
Getting yourself to grocery shop in college is hard enough as it is, but just to keep things interesting you also have to be the loudest one in the store, winning the award for World’s Squeakiest Cart. Who wouldn’t want everyone to stare while you shuffle though the aisle in your pajamas.
2. The moment you stare at the produce section, just knowing you should try to be healthy.
Yeah, sure, you’ll buy some broccoli, that doesn’t mean you’ll eat it though. What is a floret, anyway? And it still counts as a vegetable if you drench it in ranch, right?
3. But you quickly turn your cart and head to the bread aisle, because, you know… CARBS!
Sandwiches, grilled cheese, french toast, the possibilities are endless for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. But you’ll grab the wheat bread because you’re the epitome of healthy and nutritious decisions.
4. Then you remember you left your list at home.
Or that you were supposed to make a list and you didn’t even manage to do that. Maybe it was on purpose to make the college grocery shopping experience even more thrilling. But do you still have peanut butter, and did your milk expire? A list just might have been helpful after all.
5. So you turn to the frozen aisle for some quick meals.
What else can beat a full dinner in 5 minutes and all you have to do is put it in the microwave. It’s not like you know how to cook that well anyways, so maybe this is the safer choice so that you don’t burn the house/dorm down. Just remember to add water to your easy mac. You don’t want to be known as that kid that set off the fire alarm.
6. But now you’re on a mission and there are people EVERYWHERE!
Of course, when you have a place to go, everyone else is in the way. And where did all of these people come from, oh wait, it’s probably Sunday and you’re stuck in the grocery store with every other college kid on campus.
7. You’re on your way out and the candy aisle catches your eye.
You had a tough week, right? Exams, papers, homework, well, actually, you don’t need an excuse. Just go for it. You know you want to.
8. You head right for self check out to avoid all social interactions.
You already HAD to say hi and power through an uncomfortable conversation with your freshman year RA, so how could anyone expect you to stand in line to talk to anyone else. Plus you don’t need the bagger to judge you for being 20 and buying fruit snacks and a box of Uncrustables.
9. Your face while trying to figure out how you spent $50
All I bought was a loaf of bread, three frozen dinners, and two bags of M&M. Oh, and also pretzels, yogurt, carrots, ranch dressing, Cheetos, cereal, and three cases of La Croix. Just the essential groceries.
10. When you finally make it home and try to be the one-trip-wonder.
Because two trips are for suckers! Plus, it would totally count as working out for the week.
College grocery shopping is a wild and crazy ride, full of up’s and down’s. Just be sure to buy something to keep yourself alive and maybe you’ll remember the list next time… maybe.
And if you want to learn just how to grocery shop like an adult, check out this spoon article.