If you’re anything like me, you’ve gone through the ten emotional stages of being single: empowered, free, with it, confused, awkward, sad, bitter, desperate, disappointed, and screw it. Repeat. Being single isn’t always easy, and going through a break-up can be even harder. Immediately after a break up, many people need to distract their mind from their ex. Gotta fill that void somehow. So here, right now, I’m telling you single ladies and fellas that I have found the secret to replacing your boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s… Nutella.
Aren’t convince? Here are five reasons why Nutella is the perfect rebound.
1. Nutella is the super nice guy you’ve been looking for.
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Nutella is actually good for you! You can guarantee a healthy relationship with Nutella because it is chock full of fiber, iron and calcium (key ingredents to any relationship I’d say). Your last boyfriend wasn’t so nice to you? Well, Nutella can fill in for him.
2. Nutella has a dark side too.
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So you’re into the hard-core motorcycle guy smoking a cigarette outside the bar? Or maybe you’re into the girl with heavy black eyeliner that never smiles? Well you’re in luck because Nutella has a smeared reputation as well. It may be the nice guy but too much Nutella is bad for you. It’s first two ingredients are sugar and vegetable oil, which aren’t the healthiest things in the world. Vegetable oil is highly processed and sugar is, well um, sugar. Like any relationship, spending too much time together is unhealthy. But let’s face it, we love to give into our guilty pleasures every once and awhile.
3. Nutella is, like, totally popular.
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Did your parents not approve of your last relationship? No worries here because Nutella is one popular S.O.B. One jar of Nutella is sold every 2.5 seconds worldwide. It’s in high demand so you better snag some before that basic girl is all up on it.
4. Nutella is a spawn of a very rich man.
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Ferrero SpA, owned by Michele Ferrero, is also the owner of Nutella. He is thought to be Italy’s richest person, estimated by Forbes to have a net worth of $26.8 billion. Always wanted a sugar daddy? Pick up a jar of Nutella to spoon all night.
5. You have a world-celebrated anniversary.
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Your love has the capability to spread worldwide because on February 5, the entire world celebrates their love for Nutella. It’s almost like Valentine’s Day, but without the broken hearts. If you really need to get over your ex, do yourself a favor and pick up a jar of Nutella and I guarantee you won’t be thinking about that loser ever again.
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