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Jersey Shore 4
Jersey Shore 4
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The 7 People You’ll Meet in an Italian Bar Abroad, as Told By Jersey Shore Characters

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at JMU chapter.

You’ve traveled across the Atlantic, you’ve had a long day of classes, and you are ready to experience a night on the town, European style. You’re all dressed up, your eyebrows are on fleek, and you’re feelin’ that limoncello you downed at the pregame.

After a wobbly walk to the town’s piazza, the bar is a shining paradise of late night shenanigans and reverie. “Boom Boom Pow” by the Black Eyed Peas is blasting wayyy too loud, and man, do you ever need a mojito. As you close in on the bartender, you start to notice the clientele.

Italian

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

The Over-Excited American High Schooler

Italian

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

It’s the first time he’s ever traveled without his parents, gets drunk off two shots, and let’s you know just how drunk he is EVERY TEN MINUTES.

The Cool Local Bartender

Italian

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Can easily turn your night from burnt to turnt (shoutout to my girl Sandra in Busom Bar in Urbino!). With their never-ending parade of free drinks and bar snacks, you may not be able to even speak English by 00:30 am.

The “Other” Study Abroad Group

Italian

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

You lay claim to your bars, and these Americans are not welcome. These are not their Italians. They’re always the “boring” or “weird” kids, no matter how nice they seem. 

That One Kid in Your Group With Unnatural Language Skills

Italian

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Don’t know Italian? Have this girl by your side, and you’re set. Can flirt with anyone: American, Italian, or otherwise. Legendary, even when drunk.

The Most Beautiful Creature to EVER grace this planet

Italian

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Italians are not all tall, dark, and sexy, but damn it when you meet one. The whole world slows down to look at them. Never too drunk or too sober, they are out of Vogue magazine perfection. Savor your time in their presence, because Italian beauty is otherworldly.

The Rich Kid Who Buys Expensive Alcohol Just to Chug It

Italian

Gif courtesy of weheartit.com

He brags to everyone about his top shelf tequila and vodka, then ends up puking half of it back out. What a twist.

The Tired Drunk

Italian

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

For some reason, there was always someone asleep at the bar or on the edges of the dance floor. The music is literally deafening, yet this guy is catching some zzz’s. You sure have your priorities straight, sleeping Italian bro.

Somewhere between a Riesling and Ravioli