Yeah, we’ve all been there: you’re feeling that fourth shot of tequila, you’re just about done with your night, and you’re hangry. Thankfully, there is a magical establishment that keeps us Georgetown students from starving on a fateful weekend night: Epi.
One of the most hopping parties on Georgetown’s campus is the one that goes on in Epi at 2 am on a Friday or Saturday night (or morning). Seriously, that place is more crowded than it ever is at any other time of day–and for once, not filled with Med students in scrubs or Darnall freshmen.
We can all agree on one thing: a drunk night is not complete unless it ends with Epi. Below are your thoughts before, during, and after a classic night at the #1 drunchie hotspot.
12:45 am: At the Party, You’re Starting to Feel Hungry
You’re mid-party, and suddenly all you can think of is how amazing a quesadilla will taste at that moment. But “Stacey’s Mom” just came on the speakers, so maybe just one more dance.
1:05 am: Someone at the Party Screams: “LET’S GO TO EPI!”
And it’s met with a unanimous “YESSSSSSSSSSS.” Sure enough, you start to say bye to your buds at the party, sounding like the ultimate white girl: “Omg, I love you sooo much, tonight was soooo fun.”
1:11 am: You Leave the Party and Walk Over to Epi
Nothing is stopping you from that Epi quesadilla – not even that last terrible shot of Burnett’s Pink Lemonade that tasted worse than rubbing alcohol.
#SpoonTip: Make your cheap vodka taste better by filtering it yourself.
1:14 am: Mid-Walk, You Curse Epi for Being So Far Away
Like why does Epi have to be on the other side of the world? Can we call an Uber there?
1:23 am: You Finally Reach Epi
Nothing makes you happier on a chilly night than the sight of those silver door handles that lead you to the path of cheesy quesadilla goodness. Once inside, you immediately run over to all of your friends who were at different parties that night.
1:24 am: You Make a Dash for the Order Touchscreen
You are getting that quesadilla and NOTHING will stop you. Not even this random girl in front of you debating whether she should get chicken or cheese.
1:32 am: Two words—Free. Water.
Quesadilla paid for (with flex? debit? who knows, hopefully mom and dad won’t yell at you tomorrow morning), you make your way over to the beautiful free water machine. Nope, you best believe you will not wake up with a hangover.
1:37 am: Your Order Is Called
Order #478 is flashing red on the screen, and you jump towards the counter. You start flailing your receipt in front of the guy, who is clearly un-phased by your drunken-ness.
1:42 am: You’re Knee Deep in Guac and Sour Cream
You forgot how delicious an Epi quesadilla really is. You also question why they give you so little guac. We get it, guac is extra, but come on now.
1:53 am: You Take a Quick Nap on the Table
It’s just been such a long night, a little shut-eye won’t hurt anybody, right? Maybe you’ll even fall asleep inside your quesadilla. Can’t say I haven’t seen it before.
2:04 am: You Walk Back to Your Dorm
It’s been real Epi, but it’s time to get some real sleep, no matter how comfy your wooden tables are. You also feel a little queasy, and you’re almost 100% positive it’s from the quesadilla and not the alcohol.
10:36 am: Regret, Regret, Regret
Waking up the next morning, you yell at yourself for going to Epi and wasting all those calories on that quesadilla. Then you tell yourself you won’t do it again…at least not until next weekend.