It’s time to welcome emotions, not cower away from them. It’s time to let yourself feel in a healthy way. And it’s time to control your emotions and not let them control you. The human experience is a collaboration of paradoxes to produce a series of wanted and unwanted emotions, a beautiful thing that sometimes finds itself to be a bit terrifying if you feel too hard or think too much. It’s normal to, at times, take things to the extreme, and it’s okay to let yourself be vulnerable and feel, but when emotions start to continually interfere with your daily routine, only offering you reasons to feel upset, anxious, or frustrated, an unhealthy relationship has developed between you and your emotions.
Everyone deserves to love themselves unconditionally, but when emotions start to slowly creep into center stage, it’s hard not to struggle with how you see yourself, even though these overwhelming moments of confusion are entirely normal and by no means should define your character or strength.
These periods of emotional chaos finish when you work avidly to fight against the negative, recognize your triggers, and allow yourself the ability to do what you love and love what you do. Everyone has their own way of coping with emotions (just look at the Internet), and all of which were discovered with patience and persistence. During these painful times, the most important thing you can do for yourself is not lose faith in who you are as a person. Refuse to settle for anything less than happiness. Emotions can so easily force you under a rock and steal your soul’s shine, but the shine is still yours and YOU can bring it back.
Now, enough with all my mumbo jumbo, here are the ways that I control my emotions:
P.S. These methods don’t have an 100% success rate (unfortunately). Everyone is allowed to find themselves in the dumps every once and a while, but these methods really have helped me guide myself into a happier and healthier place.
1. Force yourself to think realistically.
A test is just a test, an interview is just an interview – both may be stressful and nerve-wracking, but neither have an “end all, be all” consequence. And in regards to things of the past, as much as sometimes we wish we could change them, it’s not in anyone’s power to do so, so what’s the use in stressing about it? If it’s genuinely out of your control, let bygones be bygones and start working towards your next goal.
2. Redirect negative energy.
Train yourself to see negative thoughts as mere miscommunications between neurons. Yes, I did just go all science on you, but mental illnesses really are the result of chemical imbalances in your brain. So in the face of negativity, whether from yourself or from others, you can choose how to respond. Replace the thought/comment with another more light and positive one; stop the cycle of negative patterns. And when it’s too hard to think positive, already have a list of the goods in your life that you can read and think about when you need a reminder.
3. Write, write, write.
Writing is my own personal therapy. I track my feelings, I think everything out on paper, I organize myself, and I fight to prevent moments of scramble and intimidation. Allow yourself a creative outlet, as creativity is proven to relieve stress, improve mood, etc.
4. Smile.
Do the things you enjoy, and do them often. Laugh, listen to your favorite peppy music, dance around, watch your favorite TV shows, and allow yourself the chance to make experiences. Sounds pretty easy, right? Remind yourself of the beauty and light in life when you feel stuck in the dark because it is out there ready to embrace you.
5. Allow yourself to cry it all out.
I know, I just said to smile, but if you need to cry, don’t hold back. Crying is a healthy way to reduce emotional stress, as feel-good chemicals are released after crying. So cry away your pain so that you can start of fresh and ready to heal. Let your negative and dark emotions leave with the tears and gasps for breath, and once you can wipe your cheeks dry, refuse to let yourself cry about it again. Let crying be the gateway to a happier you.
Now, go on, get some ice cream, grab your favorite book/movie/show, cuddle up, and spend some time to get to know yourself so that you can help yourself. And allow yourself to soak in your newfound freedom from your emotions because this road to being okay and truly you again is trying but entirely worth it at the end of it all.