For the sake of journalistic creativity, saving some extra cash, and beautifying myself, I spent the past week putting some more than questionable stuff on my face. The best part of this situation is that you can find all of the ingredients to these face masks inside of your own fridge. Eating your food is a thing of the past, my friends. 2017 is all about putting food on your face to get pretty. So all my penny pinchers and DIY peeps, listen up.
Mayonnaise
Use: dry skin
Time: 20 minutes
Ingredients: mayonnaise
As absurd as applying mayonnaise to my skin sounded, as a chronic dry-skin sufferer, this food mask screeched my name. Production is incredibly simple: pour mayonnaise into a bowl and rub it on your face. Let it sit for 20 minutes before washing it off with cold water.
The mayo dried into a clear, tight layer pretty quickly. The mask washes off easily but watch out for some major mayo overload on your taste buds during the removal process. My skin was surprisingly hydrated after the mask. Very impressed, Hellmann’s. Overall, my skin was happy but my nose was not. If you can stand mayo’s nauseating stench for 20 minutes, then you need to try this out.
Rank: 8/10
Green Tea Bags
Use: puffy eyes
Time: 15 minutes
Ingredients: 2 green tea bags
As a tea enthusiast, I was most excited to try out this beauty treatment. Dampen two green tea bags and then put them in your refrigerator for 5 minutes until they cool. Then place them on your *closed* eyelids for 10 minutes. Also, you might want to throw on some Bob Marley when you try this one because I felt myself sailing away into the horizon.
Unfortunately, this zen eye treatment showed no immediate results. My eye bags were just as puffy afterward as they were pre-green tea. So while the experience was relaxing, I’ll stick to drinking my tea.
Rank: 2/10
Avocado
Use: moisturizer
Time: 30 minutes
Ingredients: 1 avocado, 2 tablespoons of Greek yogurt, 1 tablespoon of olive oil, 1 tablespoon
And so the obsession continues. There’s some scientific explanation about the omega fatty acids that helps dry skin but let’s be straight up, this one had me at “Avocado.” It does, however, require a bit more effort during the preparation process. Blend the ingredients together for a minute, or if you’re a broke college kid like me and do not own a blender, just mash everything together and whip it real quick and deal with the occasional ‘cado chunk. Apply the cream evenly and let it sit for 20 minutes before rinsing it off with cold water.
Post 20 minutes of resembling Hulk, my skin was insanely smooth and hydrated. I’m talking newborn baby soft. This mask arguably worked better than my Aveeno moisturizer and that says a lot. I will for sure be sparing myself some guac and head for this facial in the future.
Rank: 10/10
Oatmeal
Use: oily skin
Time: 25 minutes
Ingredients: 1/2 cup of oatmeal, 1 egg, 1/2 cup of lemon
This recipe is definitely the freakiest. Let a half of a cup of oatmeal cool, and then mix in an egg and squeeze half of a lemon. Apply and let it sit for 15 minutes. The oatmeal had a lot of difficulty sticking onto my face. Maybe I put too much lemon juice in. Maybe that’s life. But after a few minutes, the concoction turned into a ridiculously stiff layer on my face that wouldn’t budge. It’s not an exaggeration when I say my cheeks were immobile. If that feeling is anything like botox, count me out.
So after being absurdly uncomfortable for 15 minutes, I rinsed it off and was past shook. Zero oil. Anywhere. No oil of my T-zone or my cheeks or my chin. Three words the emulate the great Matthew McConaughey: alright, alright, alright. Depending on how okay you are with feeling like a mannequin for a few minutes, this facial is a must-try.
Rank: 7/10
I learned a lot from this experiment. 1) I’m oddly okay with gross tasks. 2) Food is for more than eating. 3) DIY is where it’s at. Three out of my four facial experiences ended in success. That’s some damn good odds. So try out these face masks if you want to feel renewed and think twice before throwing out perfectly good food.