Peanut butter peanut butter peanut butter.
The world is obsessed with jelly’s BFF, but peanut butter snobs constitute a whole new category on their own. From DIY to every store-bought brand, they know the ins and outs of arguably the greatest food available to humankind. After undertaking extensive research, I’ve developed a diagnostic list of the tell-tale signs that you’re a peanut butter snob (in the best sense of the word):
1. You’re highly suspicious of peanut butter interlopers.
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Jif Whipped Peanut Butter and PB2, I’m looking at you.
2. You jump at the opportunity to discuss PB with friends, passers-by and random strangers.
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Crunchy vs. smooth? The debate is real.
3. It takes a truly novel use of peanut butter to impress you.
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PB with sriracha? Been there, done that.
4. Amazon consistently recommends you purchase Wild Friends Foods peanut butter.
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Or SquirrelBrand. Or Santa Cruz Organic. Really, Amazon is versatile.
5. You’re an avid reader of peanut butter articles and adamantly agree with the author’s pro-peanut butter points.
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This, however, can make you rather gullible when it comes to PB.
6. You take your own PB to the dining hall because those Smuckers packets are simply unworthy.
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Bring on the judgment.
7. You’ve tried the Whole Foods fresh-pressed peanut butter.
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Half because of the cool machines, half because, duh, peanut butter.
8. You’ll eat peanut butter on anything…
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Including but not limited to: toast, fruit, pasta and ice cream.
9. …Or nothing at all.
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With a spoon, knife or fork. Or none of the above. We won’t judge.
10. You can compare PB to every other type of nut butter and have formulated an eloquent argument for why peanut butter is king.
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Cue the rant.
11. You apply terms like “bouquet,” “balance” and “aftertaste” to your discussion of peanut butter.
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Wine snobs have nothing on you and your PB lexicon.
12. #peanutbutter is one of your top-used tags.
#PB is also acceptable.
13. Lastly, you’re appalled when anyone questions your devotion to peanut butter, and you will adamantly proclaim your love for the best food ever.
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So, are you a snob?
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