Does news from D.C. make you want to gag? Well, I have just the cure for you. These seven ridiculously clever dishes inspired by Donald Trump (and his big mouth) will be sure to lift you spirits, at least temporarily.
1. The ImPeach Sundae
The Franklin Fountain sweet shop in Philadelphia has just introduced the ImPeach Sundae to their menu. This sundae, found under “Jerks Choice,” includes homemade peach ice cream covered in nuts from the cabinet. It is served with a side of savory tomato ice cream and topped with Cheetos. Franklin Fountain has announced that the sundae “may be served with a tiny demitasse spoon to make any hands look huge.”
2. The Trumpster Burger
The Community Restaurant and Lounge in Bethesda, Maryland, is now serving The Trumpster Burger, and it sounds finger-licking good. It is served with American cheese, Russian dressing, and an extra small pickle. Yum. But that is not all, the burger also comes surrounded by a huge wall of totchos (tater tot nachos).
3. The Golden Showers Burger
The Community Restaurant and Lounge in Bethesda, Maryland strikes again, this time with the Golden Showers Burger. Available for a limited time only, the burger comes dripping with cheddar cheese and leaking yellow mustard. Just the way Trump likes it, right? Additionally, the burger is served with a glass of lemonade and a lemon glazed donut. The best part is that “for every one sold, the restaurant will donate $5 to Planned Parenthood Action.” How ’bout that?
4. The Trump Footlong (or something like that)
Despite its name, this footlong is actually only 3 inches. But hey, that is just an alternative fact, right? Inspired by Trump’s small hands (what, who said that?), this Chicago-made dish has been a hit. Created and served by The Weiner’s Circle, the Trump Footlong, made with a Chicago style hot dog, is a must try.
5. The “If She Wasn’t My Daughter” Cocktail
The Trump-quote themed cocktail bar at the Wet Bar, in Baltimore, Maryland, was created to help customers drown their sorrows. Count me in. The names of all the drinks on the menu are based off of things Trump has actually said. A couple of the “If She Wasn’t My Daughter” and “Hard to be a 10” cocktails might help you numb the pain.
6. The “Donald Trump’s BS” Baloney Sandwich
Sadly, “Donald Trump’s BS” food truck is no longer in operation, but the truck’s clever and clear message is too important to forget. The food truck, created by Wieden+Kennedy advertising firm in Portland, Oregon, served baloney sandwiches. The witty menu included things like the Border-Security Hero Baloney. This sandwich’s recipe changed all the time depending on which news station it was being served at. And get this, after a 30-45 minute wait in line, the sandwiches were free. Wow.
7. The “Ivank-another” Special
Alexander’s Tavern, in Baltimore, Maryland, might have out done everyone in the cocktail department. They created Trump themed drinks like the “Melania Margarita,” the “Trumplminize” shot, and the “Putin on the Ritz“ cocktail. Do not worry if you want more because the tavern created the “Ivank-another” special. This means you get buy-one-get-one-free for domestic beers. These inspired drinks, and with any luck at all our so-called President, will not be around forever, so drink up!
8. The Donald Trump Taco
You may have to travel a little farther to try out this Trump themed bite. Tio Beto, a well known taco vendor in Cuauhtémoc, Chihuahua, Mexico, is known for creating tacos inspired by celebrities and politicians. His Trump taco is advertised to include lots of tongue, very little brains, and pig lips. Is this what is actually in the taco? You will have to try it yourself to find out.
Although these next four years may be hard to stomach, hopefully these Trump inspired dishes will make them slightly more tolerable. Head out to find your own favorite Trump inspired food and beverages to lift your spirits for the upcoming years.