Guess what everyone? It’s almost Halloween. That can only mean one thing- free candy.
You’re never too old to go trick or treating, but once you hit college it seems like instead of candy, it’s booze. Which, let’s face it, sometimes doesn’t agree with you as much as a Reese’s would.
It’s time to remember the good ol’ days of pillowcases full of candy and getting tucked in by nine with a full tummy. It’s time to remember what Halloween is really about. Here is the definitive ranking of trick or treat candies, from the worst to the best.
15. Raisins
I’m sorry, but who in their right mind goes to the store and thinks “oh, let me give the kids on my street raisins for Halloween. They’ll really appreciate something healthy.” WE DON’T. Keep your raisins.
14. Pretzels
These are only a slight step up from raisins. Isn’t the whole point of trick or treating candy? If it won’t significantly raise my blood sugar and cause parents to say “you’ll get a stomach ache from eating too much”- pass on that.
13. Whoppers
Is this the 50s? No? Didn’t think so. Malted milk is a powdered gruel which is so not appetizing. These are probably one of the few things that aren’t better covered in chocolate.
12. Pumpkin Peeps
It is not Easter. Keep your peeps where they belong- and that’s in the spring time. They aren’t bunnies and they do not have a place in my trick or treat bag.
11. Almond Joy/Mounds
Ok, these aren’t bad, but out of all Halloween has to offer, why would you pick these? Your grandmother would probably enjoy them more than you would. Passsssss.
10. Gummies
What’s not to like about gummies? Bears, worms, you name it. Definitely not a bad idea but can be hard to find in snack size.
9. Skittles
Fruity, chewy and perfectly portioned into little snack size bags. It’s a nice way to break up all the chocolate, plus you get a bunch of different flavors.
8. Kit Kat
Crispy and chocolaty. Although these are a simple candy, they are perfect in every way. You can’t go wrong.
7. Snickers
Nougat, chocolate, caramel and peanuts. Yes please. It’s nice and hearty so you don’t have to eat too many to feel satisfied. Of course, that won’t stop you.
6. Milky Way
For those who do not like nuts in their candy, have no fear. Milky Way is the Snickers equivalent for those of us who would rather leave the nuts to the wayside.
5. M&Ms (of any variety)
*deep breath* You got peanut, pretzel, dark chocolate, white chocolate, almond, mint, the list goes on and on. All varieties are equally delicious and deserving of the number 5 spot.
4. Take Five
By far the most underrated Halloween candy. It has a little of everything with chocolate, caramel, cookie, peanuts and pretzel. Time to nom.
3. Reese’s
By popular demand, Reese’s takes our last solo spot. Shouldn’t be surprised by that considering it’s chocolate AND peanut butter.
2. Anything King Sized
You knew the houses. The ones that went to Costco and bought the variety boxes of king sized candy bars. To those houses, we salute you.
1. “Take One” Buckets
Take one? These buckets are the best things you can see on Halloween. Take 20 pieces of your favorites and run like hell.
Happy Halloween!