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Lifestyle

What Your Obscure Coffee Order Says About You

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at Claremont Colleges chapter.

We all do it — we quietly stand in line at the coffee shop and judge each and every person’s drink order. I mean, who actually needs four different syrup flavors in their mocha? But have you ever wondered what the people behind you think? Well now you don’t have to. Here’s exactly what we’re thinking:

Triple Shot Espresso

coffee

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

You mean business. Chances are you didn’t sleep at all last night, you don’t plan to sleep at all tonight, and a better option for you would really just be going home and taking a nap. But, to each their own.

Matcha with Hemp Milk

coffee

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

There is no greater satisfaction for you than pronouncing these words right. You’re too hip for your own good, and probably follow vegan food Instagram accounts and plan to grow kale in your solar greenhouse after graduation.

Blended White Chocolate Mocha with Hazelnut

coffee

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

You don’t like coffee, but you like to pretend that you do. No judgement, these are amazing. But let’s be honest here, what you are really asking for is dessert in a cup.

Spicy Chai

coffee

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

You’re adventurous and probably not boring. I applaud you.

Coconut Cream Tea

coffee

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

Either you’ve had a rough day and plan to hunker down to binge watch Orange is the New Black and wallow in your sorrows, or you are sick. Either way, you have my condolences. Please don’t cough on me.

Double Ristretto

coffee

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

We get it, you’re a coffee snob. You can tell where the beans were grown from the first sip, and silently judge when someone even says the word “Frappuccino.”

Nonfat Latte with Sugar-Free Vanilla

coffee

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

You’re putting in a solid effort to cut down on calories. But stop kidding yourself, making it nonfat and sugar-free doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Treat yo self and drink something that actually tastes good.

Rachel Kaiser

Claremont Colleges '18